Fast Food Fiasco
by Draith
Summary: To prevent Hiei and Kurama from getting bored on a break from missions, Koenma forces them to get jobs ...only implied KB... Chapter 12 now up! OO
1. No Vacation For You!

I am Draith, hear me…. Type!!

Disclaimer:   I do not own…ANYTHING!  (Ok, yeah clothes and stuff…)  However, if I owned Yu Yu Hakusho, 

or any of its characters, would I be writing fan fiction? No!  I also do not own McDonald's, Taco Bell, KFC, 

Burger King, or any other Fast Food Franchise or its advertising ploys.   (You will see ^__^)

Chapter 1:  No Vacation for you!                      

~~~~^~~~~^~~~~^~~~~^~~~~

    Scene 1:   (yes, I will do this every time…) In the Forrest

     Hiei is resting peacefully in his favorite tree, when a loud, bubbly voice startles him from his nap.

     "Hiei!"  Botan called.  She was standing at the base of the tree, her oar slung over her shoulder.

     Hiei, glaring his signature glare, merely "Hn"s, and jumps lightly from the branch to the ground.  Crossing his arms, he asks, "What do you want?"

     Botan is not put off by his cold stare, and excitedly tells him that Koenma has asked to speak with him ASAP.  

     Hiei's eyes narrow, but, being bound to his service, grunts, and reluctantly heads off in a flash.  Botan sighs, and heads off towards town.

    Scene 2:     In Town                         

     Botan arrives at Kurama's house after not too much time, and waits in the tree by his window for him to return home from school.  Needing action to keep her going, Botan finds the wait boring, and falls asleep before Kurama makes it back.  

* Most likely an hour or two later *

     A certain red-haired teen walks up the sidewalk and, unlocking the front door, enters his house.  Kurama grabs a drink from the refrigerator, and heads upstairs to start on his homework.  But as Kurama sets out his books on his desk, he spots something out of the corner of his eye, outside the window.  

     Curiously walking to the window and opening it, he sees Botan asleep in his tree.  Kurama sighs, not wanting to startle her, and carefully steps onto a branch, carrying her inside.  

     While still in Kurama's arms, Botan stirs.  She looks up at him with big blue eyes, and smiles.  Then, realizing this was _real_, eeps, and jumps to the floor, startled.  

     Kurama just smiles that smile of his, and offers her his yet-unopened drink, and the desk chair.  She sits and takes the drink, looking a bit embarrassed at nearly cuddling him a moment earlier.  

     Sensing her discomfort, and being his ever-polite self, Kurama decides to break the slightly awkward silence.  "So was there something you needed…?"

     "Yes!  Yes of course, why else would I be here?"  She chuckles slightly, looking a little red.  Kurama smiles and she quickly continues, putting down the now distracting drink.  "Yes, Koenma wishes to see you, as quickly as possible."  She nods slightly, proud of herself as she completed another errand.  

     "Of course," Kurama responds.

     Botan smiles and the two head for Koenma's office in Reikai.

    Scene 3:   In ReiKai  

     Inside his office, everyone's favorite toddler sits, furiously stamping "important" papers.  The big blue ogre behind him clears his throat.  "Uh, Lord Koenma, Sir, Botan and Kurama are here."

     Koenma looks up, and greets the two as they enter the room where three other people are standing in front of his desk.  One of these, of course, was Hiei, who arrived much more quickly than the other two.  The tall one was Kuwabara, and the dark haired boy beside him was, naturally, Yuusuke Urameshi, Spirit Detective.  This one looks at the two, amused.

     "Geez, Botan, Hiei's been here for over an hour, what took you and Kurama so long?" he winks at them, smirking.  

     Botan blushes, managing an, "Eh heh…"

     Kurama though, calm as ever, simply replies, "Some of us do not skip school daily," as he walks up to join the others.  Botan quietly slips out of the room.

     Kuwabara points at Yuusuke, and laughs.  "He sure got you, Urameshi!"

     Hiei snorts.  "He was referring to the both of you, baka."

     "Oh."

     Yuusuke ignores them, and turns back towards Koenma.  "So, what's the deal this time, Big Guy?" He asks, almost sarcastically.  

     Koenma looks at them all.  "Actually, Yuusuke, I don't have a mission for you."  Before they can exclaim all at once, he continues, "There has been a lull in troubles lately, and it seems that it may be a while before you will be needed for another errand."

     Kuwabara, dense as always, asks, scratching his head, "So, what's that mean for us?"

     Koenma nearly groans, as this should have been obvious.

     "It means we get a vacation, right?"  Yuusuke interjects before Koenma can respond.

     Koenma nods.  "Yes, you and Kuwabara are on "vacation" as of now, for a yet-undetermined period of time."

     The two yell in excitement, and immediately run out of the room, happy to be free for a while.  That leaves Kurama and Hiei still standing in front of Koenma's desk, looking at him expectantly, as they were not included in the vacation announcement.

     "As for you two…" Koenma begins.  

     "Let me guess," Hiei interrupted.  "No vacation for the demons?"

     Koenma looks a bit indecisive.  "Well, Hiei, while you and Kurama have certainly earned a break as much as the other two, I just can't run the risk of letting the two of you roam free, no matter for how short a time."

     Kurama narrows his green eyes, "What are you saying then?"

     Hiei listens intently, and Koenma sighs before responding.  "I cannot run the risk of you –especially you, Hiei—getting bored, and causing your own trouble."  He receives looks from both of them.  "Ahem, so what I want you both to do for this period of time, is go out and get jobs for yourselves.  Something to do, to keep you occupied."  Koenma looks quite proud, having thought of the idea himself.

     Koenma receives silence as a response, with Kurama looking pensive.

     "Now Kurama, I know you have school work to keep you busy, but I cannot allow Hiei to suffer different terms than you, so you both must do this."

     Hiei glares at Koenma.  "Hn."

     Koenma raises an eyebrow slightly, and responds, "Or perhaps you would like to be returned to your ORIGINAL punishment?"

     Needless to say, Hiei and Kurama reluctantly agreed to go out and get…gasp…jobs!

~~~~^~~~~^~~~~^~~~~^~~~~

So, what do you think?  Yeah, I know… nothing insanely funny yet, but I am getting there! Really!  Every story needs an introduction, and this is just that… Please R and R, and tell me if I should keep writing, or stuff it.  ^__^ But please, no flames…  I cannot find my burn ointment, and peeling skin is no fun….

-Draith


	2. We Love to See You Combust?

I am Draith, hear me… um, go * splat * to the floor as all the readers decide I am too annoying to be allowed to live on FanFiction.net?  :::looks around, runs away, screaming:::

BTW:  Thanks for all the reviews!!  You guys are so nice! ^__^ It was so encouraging to see people didn't hate me at the start…  Well, except Pierce, but she even was nice to me.  So I suppose I cannot complain, ne? 

Raven Sin:  Thanks for the tip!  I avoided that error in this chap. ^__~

B.D.:  Thanks for the encouragement!  Sorry about the burn ointment comment… I did not mean it, really!  

Anne O. Nimus:  Thanks, yeah, I knew that, and I am just enough of a baka that I typed it wrong TWICE heehee  

Radical Edward:  Hehe that would be cute!

FaeGirl430:  Thanks!  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to know someone will defend me… ok, enough of that, thanks though!

Pierce, as always, thanks for looking, and for reading even though you have the basic idea already.  Thanks for the suggestions too, I owe the flashback scene to your ingenious insanity!!

Digi-Girl:  Thanks! ^__^ Sorry it took so long… 

Silenced:  I'm getting there, I'm getting there!!  Heehee.

    To everyone, sorry this took so long, but this was hell-week for this little elf, as I had two tests, two papers, a presentation, and various other assignments over THREE days… I also had a seizure of writer's block (fixed at 3am) that really hurts…  Anyways, here it is!

Disclaimer:  Again, do not own Yu Yu Hakusho… I am merely borrowing the characters with full intent to return… after I have seduced Kurama, of course.  KUSO!  Was that out loud?!  :::scary lawyer dudes calmly inform me that I'm not allowed, nor able to do this::: -__- eh heh… ^__^ Oh, and I don't own Wal-Mart, or any Fast Food chain or advertising junk…yeah, you know the drill by now!  Also, I am in no way, shape, or form encouraging the production and usage of fake I.D.s, but this was NECESSARY!  So, do not go telling people the Elf told you that you could do it!  Besides, they would just look at you weird, and give you a pretty, new white jacket that will be all snug… Uhm, yeah… Anyways!

Ok, the next little bit will focus more on Hiei…  I mean come on, we ALL know he is more prone to getting into trouble!  ^__^ Heehee Kurama will be around, and other characters may be thrown in to spice things up.  Otherwise, Hiei rules this chappy.  Yay!

Chapter 2:   We Love To See You…   Combust?

Scene 1:   Back in NingenKai

     Hiei growled as he and Kurama exited the portal upon returning from ReiKai.  He could barely believe he was not only forced to get a "job", but was only allowed to do so in NingenKai, as Koenma said this would better keep the two from trouble.  _But that requires being AROUND humans_, Hiei thought as he sulked.  "So what are you going to do, Kurama?" he asked, hoping for ideas.  After all, the Junior Ruler of ReiKai had not specified WHICH jobs they could pick.

     Kurama was silent in thought, and so the two began walking towards town, figuring at least seeing establishments would give them a semblance of an idea.  They passed by a Wal-Mart.  Kurama's eyes immediately lit up as he exclaimed, "Garden Center!" and quickly ran off towards the doors, leaving a stunned Hiei standing alone on the sidewalk.  He glared in the direction Kurama left in, hoping the "baka kitsune" could feel it through the back of his head.  

     "Hn."

     Hiei waited for a few minutes, hoping the fox would return quickly, and looked around.  He spotted many, "Now Hiring!" signs, but could not picture himself going NEAR the places, let alone going inside to _work_ there.  He was just about to give up on his friend's return when Kurama came back, smiling.  "And?" Hiei demanded.

     Kurama grinned and held up a nametag that read, "Shuuichi," and a Wal-Mart apron.  He then smirked.  "I've got mine, what about you?"

     Hiei folded his arms, crossly.  "You cheated, fox, you'd enjoy that job more than it being actual work for you." He snorted.

     "Now, now, Hiei, Koenma never said we couldn't enjoy the work, merely that we be occupied.  And judging by your mood, I feel we need to find you something fitting as soon as possible," Kurama responded, placing the job items in his schoolbag, which he had never put away earlier.  

     Hiei glared at him silently, and they continued walking.  Kurama had pointed out many places along the way, though the fire demon had some excuse or another for not picking each one.  

     "How about there?"  Kurama chuckled as he pointed to a meat packing company.  The work, of course, being done in a huge walk-in freezer.  "That would cool your temper off.  At least until you get angry and your employers wonder why all of their meat is suddenly cooked…"

     Hiei shot him a death glare, and sneered, "Stop the jokes, kitsune.  This is serious."  But Kurama did not obey the command, and continued to chuckle until he stopped on the sidewalk outside a building with another "Hiring" sign.  Hiei kept walking, then, realizing his friend had stopped, turned to see what was keeping him.  Kurama was staring at the establishment to his left, and a smirk was already forming on his face.  

Hiei looked in the directing of that smirk, and his eyes widened.  

     "No.  No, no, no, fox.  No WAY in the seven hells am I working at McDonald's!"

Scene 2:   Inside Mickey D's

     "I think it will suit you just fine," Kurama said to Hiei as they walked through the entrance to McDonald's.  "Besides, it IS the only place left around that you have not already refused to work at."

     "Hn."

     Kurama sighed.  "Well, I have a bit of homework to catch up on, so I will see you later, Hiei.  Ja ne!"  With that, Kurama headed out the doors they came in, leaving an obviously protesting fire demon in his wake.  

     _Baka kitsune…_ Hiei thought to himself.  He then turned to look at his coming fate.  The lines at the counter were dwindling, as it was now past dinnertime.  Hiei sighed.  _Better to just get it over with._  With that thought in mind, he walked up to the counter, behind which stood a girl in a manager's shirt.  Looking nearly too young to be in such a position, she greeted him with a voice even more bouncy than Botan's… which annoyed the demon that much more.

     "Hi!  Welcome to McDonald's!" she said, looking down at him as if he were a child.  "What can I get for you today?"  She smiled at him, warmly.

     Having caught her manner and look, Hiei sighed inwardly, and responded in a monotone voice, "A job."  He barely got the words out, as they disgusted him so.

     At first the girl chuckled, but, as she was promptly greeted by a cold glare by Hiei, stopped short.  "Y-You're serious?"

     "Yes.  I would—like a job," Hiei responded, again barely getting out the words. 

     The manager still eyed him strangely, but motioned for Hiei to follow her into the back of the store, where the office was located.  "Ok," she said, as they sat down in the small office room at the back of the building.  Hiei was not looking happy, but, polite and bubbly as she was, she smiled and began going over the material for the interview. "I'm Sara," she stated, pointing to her 'manager' nametag with her name on it.  "What's your name?"

     "Hiei."

     "And your last name?"

     "Just Hiei," the irked fire demon responded, until he looked at his fake I.D., and remembered that he had been supplied a name for such use…

***Begin Flashback Sequence***

     "And here is a set of papers for you Hiei, you will need these documents to secure a job in NingenKai.  Included in there is a fake I.D., with a last name that I picked for you," Koenma explained to the scowling demon.  

     Hiei looked over the papers quickly, as most of the information was normal and to-be-expected from Koenma.  Then his gaze crossed over the name Koenma had selected… Hiei lifted his head to stare at the toddler.  "B…Bubbles?!" he asked, his face incredulous.  Kurama had to hold back a chuckle with great effort.

     The blue ogre behind Koenma cringed, anticipating the worst, and Koenma sighed.  "It was the best I could come up with on short notice.  I think I did quite well, all things considered…" he then proceeded to prattle on about how much awful paperwork he was stuck with while his father, King Yama was away, and how he was not the mighty maker of names, and ended up looking pleased with himself that he had come up with a name at all.

     Hiei had not said a word to all of this, just glared at Koenma, ignoring Kurama's chuckles for the time being… "Hn."

***End Flashback Sequence***

     Hiei sighed.  "Bubbles… Hiei Bubbles," Hiei managed to get out, but had to try hard not to scowl at the memory.  

     She said to herself as she looked for a pen, "Mr. Hiei Bubbles… So how old are you?" she asked aloud as she rummaged through a rather disorganized stack of papers to find the now elusive application forms.  

     "Sixteen," Hiei lied, producing the falsified age/identity proving documents that Koenma had provided.  He could barely hold in his frustration and disgust over being "identified" as a human, let alone with a name like Bubbles!

     The girl gave him a look, but nevertheless, stayed chipper and finished the interview, able to squeeze the rest of the information she needed out of Hiei.  "Alright, so, when can you start?" she asked him excitedly.  

     Hiei grunted, looking around.  He sighed.  "Right now."  _Starting hell tonight is as good as starting hell tomorrow,_ he thought to himself, as Sara seemed to brighten up at his answer.

    "Great!  We aren't too busy right now, and this would be a great time to show you the ropes."  She grinned as she gave him a very formal sounding tour, explaining each piece of equipment as if it were a respected part of nature.  "And this is the grill, and this is the fry vat, you'll probably start there until you get more used to everything," Sara seemed to know every detail of the job, and rambled on for 20 minutes about minor details that Hiei was sure he would never remember or use later.  "Well, that's about it for now… Oh!  It's closing time… I must have talked the night away!" Sara giggled, and the other employees groaned, indicating this sort of thing must happen a lot with her shift.  "Anyway," she continued, ignoring her staff, "there is one last detail to be covered, and then you are an official part of the team!"  She smiled at him, gleefully.

     Worried most by the expression on his soon-to-be employer's face, Hiei narrowed his eyes to ask, "What is that?"

     Sara grinned, disappeared for a moment into the office room again, and then returned with an instant picture camera.  Receiving a slightly worried glance from Hiei, she said, "Since out motto is, 'We Love To See You Smile', it is customary and required that all prospective employees have their picture taken with a great big, customer-serving smile on their face, and that picture is posted on the board in the office."

     Hiei looked at her blankly.  Thoughts ran through his mind of torching the poor girl for such a suggestion, and the concept of smiling for a recorded, posted picture bothered him so that his hands nearly glowed with his trademark flame…

     Seeing the look on Sara's face—expectant and cheerful—Hiei sighed, and decided he did not need to cause such trouble on the first day.  He nodded.  Sara raised the camera with a  "Say cheese!" and Hiei reluctantly smiled as she snapped the photo.  _I am going to get Kurama for this…_

TBC…  Yes, I know, not so long either, but that is all the thought I could fit for now, and spit out at quarter to 4am!!  Bear with me people, keep reviewing please!  I want to know if this chapter proves I have no FF talent, or if it shows I don't suck so mightily after all… heehee ^__^ Either way, I'll work on getting the next chappy up ASAP.  Ja ne!  ~

-Draith


	3. Popular Kurama

I am Draith, hear me… shut up and get to the chapter… heehee ^__^

To all my lovely reviewer peoples:  Ugh, NOW I sound like Delloth… Here, review shout-outs:

Angel Of The Light:  Thanks, and yes, I know it's popular in the states, but that doesn't mean a sullen Fire Demon would EVER want to work there, no matter _what_ country or culture he was surrounded by, ne?

Saturn Imp:  heehee!!

Digi Girl:  Wouldn't we all?

Pierce:  SHHH!!!!  Ix-nay on the ot-play iving-gay out-ay!  (whoa…)

Reynamangga:  thanks, but I owe "Bubbles" to Pierce, as it was her idea.  

Blonde Fox:  Yes, he would, but then he'd have to deal with Koenma…I love Hiei too, but I love torturing the poor Fire demon even more!  * maniacal laughter *

Faegirl430:  Hehe, I'm glad it's effective ^_~

Lita:  Heehee… you rock!  

Radical Edward:  Hmmm… * grins evilly *

   And the rest of you who reviewed thanks!!  

To my muses… Yes, Pierce, I have decided, I DO have muses (and no, I didn't steal Charlie…though that would be fun)… Thanks!

Disclaimer:  I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, or its characters, or McDonald's, or Wal-Mart, or ANYTHING else that may or may not be mentioned in this chapter.  I do not own a sword… no, wait, I own five, heh, never-mind!  Moving right along then!   (Warning:  this may prove a bit oddly broken up with some tiny scenes, but there was no other way I could really do it coherently, and I decided I had taken ENOUGH time in writing this, so here you go, all swifty-nifty… and I'm insane. Ja!)

Chapter 3:   Popular Kurama

Scene 1:    Kurama's House

     Kurama sat at his desk, finally on the last page of his homework.  He finished the rest of his hot chocolate, as the breeze coming from his open window was cooling it too quickly.  Placing the cup back on the desk surface, and without turning his head, he spoke.  "So, how did it go?" a slight smile playing on his face.

     Hiei silently and nimbly hopped in through Kurama's window, a sour expression on his face.  "Hn," was all he deigned reply, as he sat on the windowsill, glaring at Kurama.  

     Kurama wrote out one last thing, placing the paper back in its folder.  He then turned in his seat to face the window, draping his left arm over the back of the chair.  "That badly, eh?" he asked, a twinkling of amusement in his eyes.

     Kurama received a cold glare from Hiei.  "You have no idea, kitsune…" he sighed, and folded his arms over his chest.  "And I have to go back there tomorrow afternoon."  It seemed as if Hiei was nearly… pouting.

     Kurama grinned inwardly at this, being thoroughly entertained.  Outwardly, he chuckled slightly, "I think this was one of Koenma's better ideas."  

     However, his smile was greeted by a snort, and Hiei promptly muttered something about traitorous foxes, and made his escape out the window with a flash of his black cloak.  

Scene 2:  The Next Day

     After school, Kurama headed home to drop off his books, pick up his things, and head off to work at Wal-Mart for the day.  __

_     This should prove interesting…_he thought to himself as he climbed the stairs towards his room, drink in hand.  

     Setting down his books and checking his watch, Kurama decided he had time for a quick lunch before he had to leave.

Scene 3:  That Afternoon, in the Forrest.

     Botan sighed as she continued walking among the thick trees.  She had been wandering around for an hour trying to find the clearing she remembered Hiei seemed to live around, and with no luck yet.  Finally fed up with the trek, she stopped and, looking around, yelled, "Darn it, Hiei, where ARE you?!"  Botan had not really expected an answer, as she was sure that wherever she stood now was far from the clearing she was trying to find.

     Just as she was turning to give up and move on, however, a black blur appeared in front of her from out of the surrounding trees.  The blur quickly became an annoyed-looking Hiei.

     "Hn.  What do you want?" the diminutive fire demon asked as he stood up and assumed his usual stance, hands in his pockets.  He was particularly cold sounding today, as the ferry girl had woken him from a very nice nap.

     Botan sighed, and answered, "I'm here to remind you that you have work to go to today.  Koenma would be most unhappy if you began skipping shifts before you even started!"  Though her tone was an attempt at sternness, she still sounded bubbly as always, and her face reflected a bit of fear of Hiei.

     Hiei, naturally, found this amusing.  He smirked.  "I don't need a reminder, onna.  I had remembered, and was already on my way there."  This, of course, was a lie.  Nevertheless, Hiei found it better to appease the girl than have her bugging him for the rest of the day having already been yanked from his rest.

     "Oh," Botan replied, taking the bait and figuring this was why he had been so hard to track down.  "Well," she defended, "trees don't have alarm clocks, and it's better safe than sorry, you know.  Besides, Koenma'd have my job if I failed to check up on you two properly!"

     Receiving no response to those last few comments, Botan sighed again and let Hiei go, as she had to go check up on Kurama that day as well.  _At least he will be more polite and appreciative!_ She thought to herself as she watched Hiei phase off into the forest.

     She smiled cheerfully as she brought out her oar and decided to fly the rest of the way out to town.  

Scene 4:   Wal-Mart

     "Where did you find this kid?" asked the manager on duty at Wal-Mart of the current supervisor of the garden center.  

     The girl sighed.  "We didn't find him sir, he just… came in and applied…" her voice sounded a bit distracted.  In fact, the manager had noticed that throughout their entire conversation, his employee had not taken her eyes off the boy.  

     He sighed slightly.  "Well, however he got here, he's a whiz kid for sales, that's for certain.  We've had more business today than we have all week."  He turned and pointed to the line of people waiting around the garden center's entrance; a line made up entirely of females.

     The store certainly had had a lot of business that day.  Kurama was thinking about that as he supplied yet another young girl with exactly what she needed… even if he got the distinct impression she did not _really_ need it.  He sighed softly as he spotted the long line, and looked pleadingly at his boss, as it was about time for his break.

     The supervisor caught the look, and, taking pity on, let him go and went to handle the customers herself, which, of course, dissipated the majority of the crowd.

     Kurama headed to a secluded section of the center to take his break.  The break was only from customers, however.  After taking a moment to collect his thoughts after his recent bombardment, he decided to work with some of the plants around him.  Many of them had not been looking so good the day before, and now were doing better due to Kurama's "assistance."  

     Just as he was starting to focus his energy to "help" another struggling young sapling, he heard a female voice just behind him.  "And just what do you think you're doing?"  the voice asked, sounding incredulous and sternly authoritative.

     Kurama quickly stopped what he was doing and whirled around, already thinking of an appropriate excuse, and dreading the thought of being fired… However, as he turned, he did not see his supervisor as he thought he would, but instead a young blue-haired girl with an expression of pure delight at his reaction greeted him.

     Botan giggled.  "Why, Hello Kurama!  Sorry to scare you like that, but I just couldn't resist the thought…" Still giggling throughout the duration of her "apology," Botan certainly did not look very sincere.

     Always the good sport, Kurama chuckled as well.  "I admit you had me worried."  He smiled, and turned back to finish his work with the young tree.

     Botan watched him closely, intrigued with how the plant changed for the better.  "You're really getting into the job, aren't you?" she asked, as he was almost finished.

     Kurama smiled as he stood up.  "It's not proving so difficult after all," he responded.

     Just then, his supervisor spotted them.  "Hey, Shuuichi, your break is done, time to stop talking to girls and get back to work!" she chastised from down the aisle.  

     "I was just showing this young lady some of our nicer trees, ma'am.  I believe she intends to purchase one," Kurama responded.  He was lying, but it seemed to satisfy his boss, and kept the crowd and her out of their hair for the moment.

     "Oh!  I don't want to be the cause of you getting into trouble, Kurama!  That's exactly what I've been sent to prevent!"  Botan cried nervously.

     He smiled reassuringly.  "Don't worry," he said, "I'm doing well enough that even getting in trouble for flirting with a customer wouldn't get me fired."

     Botan's eyes widened slightly at this.  _Does he mean…no, he was only joking.  _She smiled.  _Of course! Botan, you baka, going and getting yourself all worked up for nothing…_ "Well that's certainly good to hear," she responded.

     "I should be getting back to work now, though," he said with a glance out at the line of people forming anew.  Then he smirked.  "I was thinking of stopping off at McDonald's later, after work, to see how Hiei was doing… want to come along?"

     Botan smiled and chuckled.  "Sure!  Sounds like fun."  With that, she left Kurama to his work, and headed off to do some shopping to pass the time until they would go visit the fire demon at work.  

Scene 5:   McDonald's

     "You're late!" growled the burly kitchen worker when Hiei walked into the back entrance of McDonald's.  "Late workers aren't tolerated here," the man continued, despite a magnificent glare from Hiei.  

     Annoyed as hell, Hiei just walked past the man, responding in a slow, mocking tone, "Don't worry, it won't happen again…"

     The man started to chastise the little fire demon's insolence, but could hardly get a word out as the ever-effervescent manager, Sara, spotted Hiei and exclaimed in a bubbly, happy manner at his arrival.  

     "Great!" she said as she ran up and pulled Hiei along with her.  "You're just in time, I was starting to get worried… our lunch rush is getting under was, and I need your help with customers ASAP!"  By this time she had already invaded the back office and dug out a uniform t-shirt for Hiei to wear, and a nametag that read, "Mr. Bubbles."

     Silently cursing Koenma and doing amazingly well to control himself, Hiei put on the shirt and nametag and headed out to the kitchen.  He was promptly directed to a cash register, where customers were waiting.  

     Having trained him somewhat the night before for such a task, Sara knew that she had to get a small crate for Hiei to stand on so he could SEE the customers.  After doing so, she left Hiei to deal with his first batch of patrons…

     _Hn.  Welcome to this hellhole, would you like to fry with that?  _But instead of speaking his thoughts and thus losing his job, Hiei sighed, and greeted the customers with clenched teeth.

Scene 6:   Outside Wal-Mart

     Kurama glanced around as he left work, looking to see if Botan was still around.  After about a minute, the blue-haired ferry girl appeared out of the electric doors carrying many bags in each hand, barely able to balance them all.  Kurama raised an eyebrow at them, and called out to her from beside the entrance.  "Hello, Botan!  Did you find everything you needed?" he asked, the smile on his face and twinkle in his eye betraying his amusement at her compulsive shopping.

     Turning to find the source of the remark, Botan smiled and walked towards him, nodding.  "Yes, thanks you, even a few things I didn't…" Then, as soon as she was sure no one was looking, the bags disappeared and replaced by her oar in her hand. *

     "It's not _that_ far to McDonald's, and I think a walk would be nice, don't you?" Kurama said, glancing at the oar.

     "Oh, yes, I suppose so!"  Botan smiled and put away her oar.  The two then walked side-by-side towards McDonald's to check on the fate of the poor fire apparition employed there…

~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~*~~~~

A/N    Ok, I know… that was a bit short, and left on a slight cliffy.. but HEY!  I have WRITER'S BLOCK my friend!  * whimpers * Anyways, I'll get back to Hiei in the next Chappy, but I HAD to post this before I went mental from the overwhelming-ness of it all!   Ok, see you soon….  Please Review!!  Flames welcomed, for whatever reason, I'm bored as hell.


	4. Ronald

I am Draith…  Hear me Type out the nastiest chapter to Hiei I have ever thought of… or is it?

Reviewer Shout Outs:

First, just thanks to everyone who reviewed, I was hoping for like, five people to review my story and give me a reason to continue, but this was great! ^__^

Pierce:  Yes, yes, hurry up and all that, I hear you!  However, I do not have the help of an evil muse!  And James is NEVER allowed over here again, do you hear me?  He is a disturbed little hentai former-puppet thing! -__-

Lita:  Glad to entertain! * bows *  

Kamiko Kashibara:  Do not deny the craziness! Laugh! Make them KNOW you are nutso!!

Anichan:  * sigh * if only Kurama really WERE there, ne?

Digi-girl:  Yeah, I guess he is, isn't he?  But it is more FUN this way!  As I always say, I love to torture the fire demon, so why not make a big deal out of vertically challenged ness?

In addition, thanks to Radical Edward, as she inspired the line, "Would you like to fry with that?"  ^__^

Disclaimer:  I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, McDonald's, Wal-Mart, Ronald MacDonald, and Clowns in general (though I don't think they have a copy-write as a group, do they?), and I really do not own anything else I guess, nothing in this chapter is mine except for Sara, the horribly energetic young manager who annoys our hero!

**A/N:**  before I begin, I would like to apologize that this took so long to update… but it's not my fault, really!  Pierce kept sending James (The Undeniably Evil But Kinda Cute Puppet) over, and the evil little muse would not help me with this fic.  He kept loading my mind with stuff for my darkfic, and I could not get a thing done. * sigh * So, this will be a short chapter, but I promise I will update sooner next time!

Chapter 4:   Ronald

Scene 1:   Back at McDonald's, Later

     "Hn.  Please come again," Hiei spat for probably the hundredth time that afternoon.  It did not get any more tolerable with each time, however.  Again, as with them all, the last customers in line gave him an odd look, and slid in line over to pick up their food when it was ready.

     "Mommy, that man was mean!" said the little girl as she clutched her mother's hand and stared up at Hiei with an angry pout.

     Hiei, in turn, bared his fangs at the child.

     The little tyke's eyes widened, and she silently clung to her mother's side as the woman distractedly comforted her with an unconvincing, "Yes dear, of course he was… it's OK, we'll just eat now…" etc.

     Hiei grunted and turned away from the counter, stepping down from the crate.  Taking another look to make sure that the family he had just dealt with was the last of the customers; he headed to the office in the hopes of escaping both patrons and coworkers for a few minutes of peace.  

     Fortunately for the enraged fire youkai, the back room was empty when he walked into it.  Not so physically tired as disturbed and annoyed, Hiei marched frustrated to the wall and leaned up against it, his arms crossed over his chest.  He closed his eyes briefly, enjoying the relative quiet of the office.  _Baka ningens_, he thought as he sighed in the silent room.

     Silent, that is, until the phone rang shrilly from the desk.  Hiei groaned slightly at the broken peace of the air.  By the third ring, Sara bounced into the office, looking chipper as ever.  She glanced curiously at the fire demon leaning on the wall, and, sitting down on the desk chair, promptly answered the phone. 

     "Moshi moshi," she said into the receiver.  She listened for a few moments, seeming to take a second to digest what she heard.  "No, no!  Come on, you can't be _that_ sick… Ok, yes…I understand," she finished.  "Get better quick… Ja!" she ended, and hung up the phone.

     Hiei watched her with a detached curiosity, not even bothering to ask who it was, or even say a word to the young manager.

     Sara sighed, shaking her head silently at his taciturn nature.  Then she suddenly groaned.  "Oh no!  Ugh, Kenshi could not have picked a worse time to be sick, we've got a party of kids coming in tonight!" she complained, looking thoroughly distraught.

     Hiei sighed slightly and shrugged indifferently.  "So?  It's been busy all day, and we've handled it just fine," he said, closing his eyes and leaning against the wall behind him.  He did not want to admit that the thought of the store's dining room being full of screaming children disturbed him.

     Sara looked up at him.  "Yes, but this is a _birthday_ party.  It's not like the regular business!" she said, with a helpless look on her face.  

     "How isn't it?  Get them food, take their stupid ningen money… it's all the same ordeal."

     She gave him a tired look.  "No, Hiei, it's different.  We provide entertainment; one of us dresses up like Ronald MacDonald, clown suit and all, entertaining the kids.  It's part of the reason that parents bring their kids here for their birthday parties," she explained while searching the desk over for some buried paper or another.  

     "So the problem is…?" Hiei asked, not as much interested as bored for the moment.

     Sara looked at him incredulously, then shook her head and responded, "The _problem_ is that Kenshi is the one who dresses up like Ronald, every time.  There is no one else who does it, and now I've got no one to do it!"  The normally chipper manager appeared very distressed as she gave up her hopeless search for paperwork and placed her head in her hands, resting her elbows on the desk in a gesture of defeat.  

     Hiei snorted, annoyed that he was being dragged into the problem.  However, the site of the girl so upset agitated him further.  He sighed slightly in frustration.  "So get someone else to do it," he said, shrugging his shoulders and looking away.

     Sara sighed, and responded in a muffled voice due to her hands over her face, "Hiei, I already told you, there's no- " she stopped suddenly and thought for a second.  Then she looked up and turned her gaze towards Hiei.

     The fire demon caught her look, and cringed inwardly, though keeping his outer poker face intact.  Hiei prepared himself for what he dreaded was coming.

     "Hiei, YOU could do it!" came the exclamation from the now-desperate manager.  She stood up from her seat at the desk, looking excited and pleadingly at Hiei.

     But before her newest employee could get out even one word of refusal, Sara had dashed off towards the store's storage area, where a certain clown costume was kept… leaving a scowling Hiei in her wake.

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

**A/N:**  Yeah, I know… only one scene.  Can you even have "scenes" if there is only one? o.O A question for the ages I suppose.  Anyway, hope you enjoyed this piece of the torture-Hiei-puzzle!  Please Review!  Flame me for insipidness if you wish, I am so bored; I would love to read it!  ^__~ Ja ne!

-Draith


	5. Oh The Fun!

I am Draith… hear me… Uhm, something... type maybe?

Ok, it has been noted I did not respond to everyone's reviews...  There is a reason for that!  Space saving!  Nevertheless, so as not to offend ANYONE, here I go, here is a response to every reviewer.

Mouse:  Excellent thought, ne?  We shall see…..

Rose Shadow:  Yes, he probably would, wouldn't he?  ^__~

DeFlIs and Calvia:  I love long "LoL" augmentations!  Super!!  Gotta love the images!

**Digi-Girl:**  Here is the thing, hun, I am short too. I am low-end of the 5' range. I like picking on Hiei, short or not, I would find something.  I'm not making a case for making fun of short people of the world, I'm only torturing Hiei by making his height an issue… Kuwabara does it every episode practically… yet we all laugh… or have homicidal thoughts towards the carrot-top… but that is another issue entirely.  * Sigh * I am not toning it down, because I like it, and many other people find it funny to make Hiei deal with it.  If you do not like it, do not read it.  No offense, just being straightforward.  Hope you keep reading, as I enjoy your reviews.

Jaid Skywalker:  I am glad you did too! Thought you fell off the face of the earth... or something…

Lita:  I am, I am!

Radical Edward:  Hmm… I think that would overload his tolerance, ne?  But we shall see!

Twilight Guardian:  Thanks… more chapter is coming!

**Shadowy Tenshi-chan**:  Hey, I think you only reviewed once, and I was not responding to everyone, mostly just to people who made a specific comment, or suggestion, or asked a question, etc. I am sorry!  Thanks for reading!!

Saturn Imp:  Ahh… one of my favorite reviewers.  Is it ok to have favorites?  * Looks about nervously *  Shh!! Do not tell anyone!!  Hope you skip back soon to read this!

Kimiko Kashibara:  Heehee another fav…  I have a few, do not worry!  Sorry you were tickled, hope it was worth it!!  Hiei, behave!  Or I shall make this story worse on you… Oh, wait, it already is… * grins sadistically *  

Elfangel191: thank you!

Angel Red Flame:  ROFL!  Yes he SO is!!!  ^__^  I shall refrain from typing out my quote in Pierce's profile about Hiei… heehee

Kawaii-Psycho:  * bows* thank you, I love that line too ^_~   I know, clowns scare me… maybe now I'll laugh when I see one!! mwa haha

Casey:  I know you did not sign in, and only reviewed @2… but thank you, that is a compliment, really!  Oh, and I only said this was IMPLIED Kurama/Botan.  What that means is, that coupling is NOT the focus of this fic.  I have sprinkled a bit of K/B fluff throughout the fic, but for those of you who really want it, there has a little more concentrated sprinkling next chapter or so… heehee.  Enjoy!

Alrighty then, on with it, ne?

Disclaimer:  I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, or any of the characters… I do not own MacDonald's, or Wal-Mart, or random nameless shops in the Tokyo area of Japan, or ANYTHING!  Except Sara!  I own Sara, who in no way resembles anyone I know in real life.  Honest, she doesn't.  Really.  I wouldn't lie to YOU!  * cough, cough *

Chapter 5:  Oh the fun!

Scene 1:   The Road to MacDonald's

     Kurama waited patiently as he sat on the sidewalk bench.  This was the third store that Botan had stopped at on their way to see Hiei, and she was now used to the delays.

     After a minute or two, the blue-haired girl emerged from the store, once again carrying several bags in each hand.  She smiled at Kurama's expression and walked over to the bench where he sat.  With a look around, once again Botan made the bags disappear, wiping her hands at the finished job.

     Kurama sighed slightly.  "Not to belittle the pleasure of your company, Botan, but that makes three stores now that we've stopped at along the way.  Have you bought everything you need now?" he asked as politely as possible, yet still sounding a little tired.

     Botan had to chuckle at this.  Her usually polite and mannerly Kurama was dangerously close to appearing bored.  _Well, not "my" Kurama, you don't own him, Botan no baka!_ She thought.  Out loud, she responded, "Yes, I believe so.  As long as there are no more wonderful shops between here and MacDonald's!"  She grinned at him.

     Kurama nearly groaned as he looked down the street that had chosen to take towards the restaurant, and saw many more small shops that he was sure the ferry girl would just **love** shopping in.  "Perhaps we should just make our way directly there," he said, trying his best not to sound pathetically bored.

     Botan giggled.  "Sure!"

     With that, they headed off again in a comfortable silence.  They would arrive at MacDonald's shortly, as long as Botan could keep her eyes away from the store windows as they passed around her…

Scene 2:   Almost P-A-R-T-Y time

     Visions of mass destruction.

     Thoughts of homicide.

     Eyes filled with fire.  Yet the demon could not move.  He was surrounded by three of his fellow employees, each one performing his own task of evil torture.  

     One for his face.  One for his hair.  One for his body.  

     Slowly, after an aggravatingly long time in which his persecutors laughed with glee, it was all finished.  Hiei scowled.  He could already hear the sound of many children gathered in the party room of the dining area.

     After receiving the go-ahead push from a beaming Sara, the other two helped Hiei out of the back room, and out towards the kids.

     "Oh, Wait!" called Sara.  She disappeared for a moment into the storeroom, and emerged carrying a big shoebox.  She grinned at Hiei.

     Hiei didn't even bother to turn and look at her; he knew what was next.  After all, he had seen the metal clown that sat on the bench outside.  _If they put those shoes on me, I swear to Yama I'll…_  But he knew he couldn't.  Not now, anyways.  Killing them all would only bring a worse punishment on him from Koenma.  He gritted his teeth.  _Maybe not now… Later._

     The girl ran over and set both huge red shoes in front of Hiei.  "Ok, step on in!  That's the last of it!" she said, grinning at him still.

     Hiei stepped into the shoes, which swallowed his relatively small feet whole with plenty of room to spare.  He knew walking in these would be very difficult.  _I swear I'll kill these baka ningens for this!  And that damned fox… it's all his fault._

     He had no more time to think, however, as he was pushed out into the dining room, and told to "go play with the kids."  They looked up at him immediately as he walked in.  "Ronald McDonald!" they screamed.  Then they all ran up and hugged him, and pulled at him, and yelled excitedly for him to play with them.  He heard one of the mothers comment that the usual Ronald was a lot taller, and that she'd never seen someone so short playing the part.  He had to hold himself back so as not to injure someone.  

     "Play with us, Ronald, play with us!" they screeched at him as they tugged on his arms and legs.

     _Die._

Scene 3:   Final Arrival

     The sounds of excited children could be heard clearly even outside of the McDonald's building.  Botan chuckled as she and Kurama walked side-by-side across the parking lot and towards the entrance.  "Sounds like a party in there, I bet our Hiei's having lots of fun!" she giggled as she spoke, seeming very amused at the thought of Hiei anywhere _near_ children.  

     Kurama sighed slightly.  "Yes, fun.  Either that or he's plotting a way to kill them all…" he said with a chuckle.

     The fox had no idea just how right he was.  

     They walked up to the door, but just as Kurama reached out his hand to grasp the bar and open it, he felt a familiar pressure on his mind.  _"If you value your life, kitsune, you will not open that door,"_ said a clear, booming voice inside Kurama's head.

     The redheaded fox's eyes widened, but, curiosity getting the better of him – besides the fact that he never listens to Hiei anyway – he just smiled to himself, and opened the door, holding it there to allow Botan to enter first.

     "Why thank you, Kurama, you are always such a gentleman!" she said, smiling up at him as she walked inside.  Had she walked any slower, she would have caught his slight blush as he smiled in return.

     They walked in to the restaurant, looking back behind the counter for Hiei.  While they waited for him to come out and take their order, they heard screams and shouts again from another room down a small hall further in the building.  Kurama raised an eyebrow.  _I_ _wonder what's going on…_  He couldn't see a single employee anywhere in the kitchen or around the dining area in their view.

     "Where IS everyone?" Botan asked, looking rather perplexed.  Indeed, there wasn't anyone in sight even when they checked outside.

     Kurama started down the hallway, toward the screaming and excited yelling that seemed to increase in volume, more than simply because they were moving closer.

     _"If either one of you comes any closer, I shall enjoy maiming you to the point of death… or worse."_

     Botan giggled.  Sure, the voice had Hiei's usual menacing tone, but she could detect a touch of desperation behind the words.

     Kurama smiled, as he had perceived it was well.  He approached the door to the party area.  "Shall we?" he asked, gesturing towards it.  He opened it when Botan nodded, and again held it for her to go through before him.  He then followed her through and into the room.

     What they saw inside shocked both of them beyond words.  Not only was there the disturbing pandemonium that only a large party of children can truly bring into existence, but, in the middle of it all, was Hiei…dressed up as the red haired clown.  He was surrounded by young children, and forced to entertain them.

     Botan burst into giggles.  "Oh my goodness!" she managed to squeak out through her laughter.  She watched as Hiei made faces at the children, throwing in a death glare at her and Kurama for not heeding his threats.  He looked helplessly homicidal.

     Kurama hid a smile and chuckled.  "Well, I suppose he IS having fun then," he said as he and Botan sat down to enjoy the needless torture of the fire demon.

     Hiei was nearly unrecognizable with white paint on his face and neck, red paint around his eyes, nose, and mouth, big red shoes, and the yellow and red Ronald costume.  A couple tell-tale signs were the few spikes of black hair stubbornly stabbing through the red wig, and the white cloth on his forehead that he no doubt had refused to take off.  Rightfully so, as a clown with three eyes is not a typical sight.

     Hiei looked at Kurama, his Jagan glowing a soft purple glow under the cloth.  _"You will pay dearly for this, fox."_

     The redhead simply smiled at him and responded in thought, _"Behave, Hiei… Play with the children now, exact vengeance later."_

     At first, Hiei growled at the kitsune telepathically and fixed him with a glare.  Then, as if finally hearing Kurama's words, he smirked evilly and turned back to the kids.  The third eye still glowing, Hiei began to 'play' with the children in front of him…

     Suddenly, one of the children turned and slapped the child standing next to him.  That child, instead of crying, turned and started hitting him back.  Soon the entire huddle of children was fighting amongst itself.  

     The children in the ball pit began using the plastic balls as weapons of destruction, not only flinging the orbs at each other and the kids around "Ronald McHiei," but at parents, employees, and random people's drinks and food on the tables; thus creating quite a mess of chaos.  

     Surprisingly enough, every adult in the room seemed to be finding this a perfectly normal sight, for some were even laughing and chatting on about "kids will be kids" and how adorable their child was being… Even when that very same child threw a ball directly at the parent's drink with remarkable accuracy, causing it to explode all over the poor adult's clothes, there was no reaction.    

     With all the sodas, burgers and fries being flung into the air by plastic ammunition from 'the ball pit warriors,' as they now called themselves, a mass food fight erupted throughout the room.  The only one untouched by all the insanity was Hiei, who stood in the middle, Jagan glowing, looking extremely proud of himself, a smug smirk on his face.

     When his co-workers finally started trying to calm everyone down, Hiei took the opportunity to remove his clown costume, while keeping enough concentration, naturally, to continue making everyone in the room go insane.  Everyone, that is, except for Kurama and Botan.  He left them to watch it all… and be hit by the children who were madly flinging food everywhere.  

     Luckily being at the end of his shift anyway, Hiei's absence from the building as he slipped out went unnoticed, and without threat of reprimanding.  After he had successfully made his escape, he let his mind control on the party drop, and snickered to himself as he watched them through the Jagan.  _Yes, Kurama,_ he thought as he took off away from town.  _Vengeance _will_ come later…_

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

**A/N:**  I know, a MONTH before I got it done, and I just finished hours before posting it… I'm sorry!  It's been insane.  Anyways, hope you all enjoyed Hiei's torture, I know I did!  Please review and tell me what you thought, of course…  See you next chapter!!

-Draith


	6. It All Goes Wrong: Part I

I am Draith… and I think it is high time I stopped beginning my chapters this way, eh?

Casey:  I'm glad you are more satisfied, read on… there's something in here for you!!

Lady Ann Kenobi:  You make good points… heehee.  Hiei's so immature, ne? ^_~

Reviewer: It was Hiei

Kitsune Girl:  Yes, I do.

Pierce:  Shh!!!

Kimiko Kashibara:  o.O  you ROCK! I want a bishball… does it come with a bishi already in it?  Or are they sold separately… hm…

Radical Edward:  thanks!  Actually, that did make sense… scary…

Lita:  I'm EARLY!

     **Disclaimer**:  I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho.  I do not own McDonald's.  I do not own ANYTHING except Sara.  I own her, yes I do.  And Pierce, say what you like, Sara was my very own creation, whether or not she resembles Deloth is not my concern!  *grins evilly *

     Chapter 6:   It All Goes Wrong: Part I

     Scene 1:   Forest

     At last the paint sullied water floated down away from the bank.  It had taken forever to remove the offending paste and dye from his face.  Satisfied now that his visage had returned to normal, Hiei stood up from the woodland stream, growling in his yet pent-up anger.  _I can't believe I let myself fall into that kitsune's trap,_ he thought.He leapt onto a nearby bough and began bounding from branch to branch, tree to tree.  Hiei always felt better when running through the forest, and often thought more clearly as well.  And he wanted that peace to think clearly very much now, for he had revenge to plot.  Not just on Kurama, but something had to be done to the place of his recent torture.  There was no way Hiei was going to let them get away with everything that they had put him through.  

     He stopped, pausing in thought as well as he stood silently on a high limb, taking a moment to close his eyes and feel the fresh breeze as it made its way through the trees.  He sighed softly after a moment.  The human world did have some small positive points… as least when humans themselves were not around to spoil them.  

     Humans.  They disgusted Hiei for the most part.  Nevertheless, he was stuck not able to kill them, or else face Spirit World's retribution.  He glared at no one in particular.  _I can't kill the bakas,_ he thought.  No, a different vengeance must be sought for them.  After all, there ARE worse things than death… He smirked.  He already knew what he would do.  It would hardly give him the satisfaction that a mass murder would, but it would suffice… for the moment.  Leaping off the limb and to the next, he headed off to McDonald's.  

     Scene 2:   McDonald's

     That night seemed to drone on forever.  Sara closed and locked the exit door after seeing the last finally normal child and parent out of the building safely.  It had not taken long for the younger ones to become scared and upset once they stopped being made to throw things.  And once everyone had gotten their own minds back about them from the control of Hiei's Jagan, they all realized just how much damage had been done.  Every ball was outside the ball pit, which had been nearly ripped open by the "Warriors" themselves.  There was soda dripping from tables, chairs, play equipment, and slides… even the walls ad ceiling were soaked and raining droplets.  Various food items were plastered _everywhere_, including on the clothes and skin of all of the employees and patrons who had been in the room at the time.  The place was a complete and utter disaster.

     The usually cheerful young manager looked around once again and sighed a tired sigh.  "Well," she addressed her employees as well as Kurama and Botan as they were still there.  "I don't suppose any of you want to stay and help clean this up _now_, do you?" she looked at them all with pleadingly hopeful eyes.

     Nevertheless, despite her efforts, not a one of her coworkers seemed to give her any indication that they wanted or even intended to stay around after hours to clean up the catastrophe that was the party room.  Even Kurama, who was eager to help fix the destruction of Hiei's temper tantrum, cringed as he too took in the total destruction of the room.  Botan was cringing in general, still mad that Hiei would cause so much trouble.

     Sara caught their look as well as the ones on the other's faces.  "Alright, I get the picture," she said, her tone now one of exhausted resignation  "We'll lock up and clean in the morning, guys.  Let's go."  With that, she headed towards the exit with her keys in her hand.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     He watched as the manager exited the building and locked the door after the employees and everyone else had left.  He waited until the fox and the ferry girl were well out of range.  Then he silently crept towards the door.  He took care not to attract unwanted and unnecessary attention to himself as he quickly and effortlessly picked the lock and let himself inside of the building.   Carefully shutting the door behind, he again made sure that no one had seen him.

     Now alone in the darkened, silent building, he turned and walked with purpose towards the back closets.  He opened the door to a utility cabinet, and emptied the jugs of cooking oil out of it, placing them on the floor in a row.  Then he proceeded to spread the oil in splashes all over the kitchen, and out into the dining area.  He dumped a large portion of one of the jugs next to both the toaster ovens, and the backup generator near the rear exit.

     Taking the last jug of oil from the floor, and glancing around at his handiwork with the rest of the building, he headed towards the exit he had come in through.  When he reached the outlet, he opened the jug, trailing the liquid from the nearest puddle in a line out the door with him.  Getting a safe distance from the side of the building, he cast the rest of the oil back at the outside wall.  He smirked to himself as he prepared to finish the plot that his work had been moving towards.  He took a deep breath.

     Scene 3:   ReiKai, Koenma's Office

     Long after the TV screen had been flicked off, Lord Koenma sat at his desk, moaning slightly in distressed frustration.  He was so upset that he had not even yet touched the sugarcoated strawberry rice cake sitting on a plate in front of him.

     "But Koenma, Sir, no one was seriously injured, surely Hiei has gotten his anger out of his system by now?" the blue oni spoke up from beside and slightly behind his master's desk chair.  Though he spoke to the toddler, his eyes were hungrily contemplating the untouched treat.

     Koenma whined and put his head down on his arms, which he crossed on the desktop.  "Ogre, what are you thinking?" he asked in a complaining tone.  "As funny as seeing Hiei in a clown suit truly was, that little bit of fun he just had with the kids won't hold him if he's really mad, you know that."  He picked his head up, a serious expression on his face.  "If he's really angry, who KNOWS what he'll pull," he said, then continued with another whine in his voice, "Oh! This is exactly why I wanted him occupied!!  If he goes on a rampage, my Dad's going to kill me!"  Koenma held his head in a gesture of despair, eyes closed in near defeat.

     Picking up the remote control off the side of the desk, George sighed.  He held it out towards Koenma and suggested, "Koenma, Sir, why don't you try to find him?  Don't you think you should know what he's doing now?"

     The toddler opened his eyes and looked first at the oni's face, then at the remote control that he held.  "Hey!" he yelled, snatching the remote from George's hand.  "Give that over, ogre!"  He then proceeded to turn on the TV viewer that was used to follow Yuusuke's Spirit Detective missions, and quickly flip through the channels.  He was so intent on the flashing images that he completely missed George's patient, long suffering expression.

     After many flashes, Koenma finally tried looking at McDonalds to see if Hiei was there.  As the screen got clearer and the picture sharpened, a small dark figure could be seen standing several yards from the side of the building.  Koenma leaned forward and squinted to see better.  Then he let out a yelp of surprise.  "OGRE!  Is that Hiei?!" he yelled practically in poor George's face.  The oni nodded, looking nervous as ever.  "Well, what is he DOING?!"  He turned back to the screen, his question clearly rhetorical as he was now seeing for himself exactly what Hiei was doing there…

     On screen, Hiei could be seen chucking the last of a jug of liquid at the side wall of the McDonald's building, and stepping back a bit.  Koenma sat on the edge of his seat and watched, as Hiei seemed to gather his energy for a fiery attack.  The toddler's eyes widened.  "He's going to torch that building!!  BOTAN!" he called, seeming to expect her to come at his summons.  

     "But Koenma, Sir," George spoke up, "remember, you sent her to check up on them; she was with Kurama last we saw."

     Koenma groaned.  He then risked switching channels and grabbed the remote to attempt to find Botan.  After a few precious seconds of searching, he found her with Kurama, a block or so from his apartment.

     George looked closely at the two, who had stopped walking.  "Why, it looks like… like they're…" he started, not sure if he should finish his statement or not.

     Koenma gaped at the screen.  Then he found his voice and floated up towards the TV.  "BOTAN!" he yelled, which startled the poor oni behind him.  "Stop kissing that demon and listen to me!" he finished when she did not respond right away.

     At that, Botan pulled away from Kurama and looked up at Koenma  "Uh, eh-heh, konnichiwa, Koenma, sir!" she replied, seeming more than a little embarrassed at being caught.  "What is it you needed?"  It took a little prompting, but at last, Kurama took his arms from around her waist, though he did not step very far away from her.

     Koenma sighed, trying not to yell at them both too much.  "You two need to turn around RIGHT NOW and head back to McDonald's!" he said in a very commanding tone.  "There's no time to argue, Hiei's about to torch the place!"  The last statement held a more enforcing feeling to it.

     Both Botan and Kurama's eyes widened.  Kurama was the first to speak up. "Alright, we'll head right there," he said, already grabbing Botan's hand and heading back down the sidewalk and towards McDonald's.

     "I didn't know that the two of them were…" George started to say as Koenma, panicked, turned the screen back to McDonald's to find Hiei once again.

     "They weren't," Koenma said flatly as he turned back to where he could see Hiei.  He yelled out as he saw Hiei send flames along the line of liquid that he had spread along the ground.  "Botan! Where IS she? She needs to get there and STOP him!"

     Scene 4:   Back At McDonald's

     By the time they arrived at the scene, the McDonald's building was already aflame from the inside and on the out.  Hiei was just standing there, looking rather sadistic in the glow as he watched the fire he had created burn in fury.  "Hiei!" the kitsune yelled.  When the fire demon failed to acknowledge him, Kurama walked over beside him.  "Hiei," spoken softer this time, though his voice still had to be raised to be heard over the now roaring inferno, "what in the hells are you _doing_??"  He split his attention between the burning building in front of him and his seemingly insane friend to his right.

     Without turning or taking his gaze from his blazing masterpiece, Hiei chuckled in a smug, self-satisfied manner.  Then he shrugged, ever so slightly.  "You said it, fox, what were your exact words?" he said, this time looking over at Kurama.  "I believe you said, 'play with the children now, exact vengeance later,' correct?"  His expression turned serious.  "I played.  It was time for vengeance."

     Kurama started to protest the fact that he had not meant for Hiei to bring about his revenge on McDonald's or its employees, but on HIM, but he stopped when Hiei held up a hand.  Turning and starting to walk away from them both, Hiei interjected, "This is that vengeance, kitsune…" Then, after he had disappeared at a lightning-fast paced run, he spoke in both their minds telepathically.  "…For now."

     Kurama and Botan stared silently at the fireball of a building, not sure exactly what to do next.  As soon as they heard the sirens of fire trucks approaching, however, they took the cue and quickly left the scene, deciding that Hiei could be dealt with in the morning.

     Or so they thought…

~~~~~^~~~~~^~~~~~^~~~~~

**A/N:**  Alright, this is a two-part chapter/update thing… I did not feel like waiting too long before updating, and then having a possibly monstrous chapter to upload.  The next installment, "It All Goes Wrong: Part II" should be written up and doled out soon enough, so try to hold in your excitement!  ^__^  Hope you enjoyed this chapter, Please R&R!!

-Draith


	7. It All Goes Wrong: Part II

**A/N:**  Hey everyone, feel free to throw eggs at me for being SOOOO late in posting the next chapter of this little fic.  Gomen nasai!  This will be a bit broken-up looking; as it switches POVs seemingly every two seconds, but just bear with it.  I'll try to be quicker next time!

Select Review Responses (because they make the page go on forever…):

Pierce:  Thanks for your support, naturally… and thanks for being my Beta reader; that REALLY helped. ^__^

Siora:  Yeah, it's supposed to be funny, but it's secondary Genre or category or whatever you wanna call it is set as "General" and not as humor, so I have the range to make a chapter not completely humorous… * shrugs* Oh well, hope this one doesn't bore you! ^__~

Kimiko Kashibara:  Yes, you rock.  ^__^

Lil' Fairy:  Just wait… you'll see.  All shall be revealed in due time… in due time…

Lita:  I'm sorry!  I know, I was supposed to be early… then this thing called College started up again, and INSISTED that it was more important than my pretty fan fiction writings.  Stupid college.  What does it know anyways… hmph.

Digi girl:  I can understand your 2cents.  Don't apologize, I was hoping I hadn't offended you, but I figured if you wanted to read it, you'd come back when you could.  Hope you keep reading!

Wings of Blood:  Woohoo!  Mickey D's go BOOM alright!  ^_____^

Thanks to everyone else who reviewed!!

Oh Yeah, a disclaimer… Guess I ought to make one, eh?  

DISCLAIMER:  I do not now, nor have I ever owned Yu Yu Hakusho, Wal-Mart, or any other thingies and wapadoodles that may or may not be mentioned in this chapter, nor the ones before it, nor nay yet the ones that shall proceed to follow it.   Honest.  Now go ahead and read…

Chapter 7:  "It All Goes Wrong P. II"

Scene 1:

     "Tell me again what we're doing here, Urameshi?"

     Yuusuke kept walking, but responded patiently, "I told you six times, Kuwabara, I'm trying to find a birthday present for Keiko."

     "Oh," the taller boy said as they walked through the entrance to Wal-Mart.  "Don't you want to get her something nice?"  He pointed toward the jewelry section when they got inside.

     "Yeah, of course, baka, but I've got a cash limit smaller than Koenma.  That's why we're here… Wal-Mart's got everything, so it's cheaper," Yuusuke explained as he made a beeline for clearance racks of girls' clothes.  He started thumbing through the racks almost apathetically, only half-heartedly searching for something Keiko would like.  "I don't understand why she can't just tell me what to get her… It'd make this whole thing so much easier!" he practically whined as he looked through the third set of clothes, again not seeing anything that proclaimed, "buy me!" for Keiko.

     Kuwabara scoffed slightly, assuming a macho stance and expression.  "Girls…" he stated, "never make anything easy if they can help it."  He shook his head.  "I don't get 'em either, Urameshi."

     "You don't "get" girls either way, you buffoon," said a voice from somewhere behind the two.

     Yuusuke and Kuwabara quickly whirled around to see to whom the insulting voice belonged, and were surprised to be greeted by Hiei.

     "What are you doing here, Hiei?" Yuusuke asked, rather grateful for a distraction from his indecision.  He put down his several choices of gifts quickly, not wishing to stand there talking while holding an armload of girly stuff… He glared a bit as Kuwabara proceeded to snicker at him for being caught.

     "Hn," was the fire demon's only reply as he turned and walked off down the walkway aisle between clothing racks, disappearing after only a moment.  

     Yuusuke watched him go, a bit surprised.  "Hey… Well that was weird."

     "Yeah," Kuwabara spoke up as Yuusuke began re-gathering his plethora of selections.  "Wonder where he's headed…"

     Finally giving up on the pile and dropping everything on a countertop with an exasperated sigh, Yuusuke growled, "I'll never find a stupid present in time…"

     "When's her birthday again?" Kuwabara asked, momentarily distracted as a hanging TV screen displayed a cartoon commercial.

     "Ahh… Sometimes this week I think.  It's not tomorrow or nothin', c'mon, Kuwabara, let's go… I'll look later."  With that, Yuusuke headed out of the girls department and towards the doors without so much as a glance behind him as he went.

     "Yeah, sure thing, Urameshi…" Kuwabara responded to no one as his friend had already walked out of earshot.  He turned from the commercial with a chuckle to find that he'd been left.  "Now where's he gone…" he started, turning around to look in several different directions.  In doing this, however, he spotted Hiei silently and quickly scaling the rafters of the store's Garden Center.  He watched as Hiei settled into a spot perched on a crossbeam, and seemed to be watching something in particular down on the store's floor.  Kuwabara tried to see what Hiei was spying at, but he couldn't see past people and shelves.  He began to slowly make his way through the crowd to that area of the store.

~     ~     ~     ~     ~

     Hiei balanced himself on the rafters above the Garden Center and searched for his quarry.  It wasn't hard to find his target, as the long line of female customers pointed the way quite nicely to where Kurama was working.  Waiting for the right moment of opportunity, he settled in to watch the fox's movements until he could make his own.

~     ~     ~     ~     ~

     For the third day in a row, Kurama found himself plagued by line upon line of fawning female patrons who seemed to want much more than the store's actual merchandise for sale.  He could hear them talking to each other behind him, discussing who would catch the boy's eye first, and who would have a chance at a date.  Little did they know that the gorgeous redhead had already made plans for that evening with a certain blue-haired ferry girl… who, unbeknownst to Kurama, had come to Wal-Mart just a few minutes earlier, and was making her way to the Garden Center to see him.

     After waiting as long as he could stand, Kurama finally got permission to take his break.  Leaving the lines of now disappointed teens, he headed back in the Garden Center to the peaceful spot he'd found before.  This time, however, instead of sneaking up on him, Botan was already there, waiting for him.  Kurama spotted her after only a moment, and grinned as he walked over towards her.

~     ~     ~     ~     ~

     "Wasting time, fox?" Hiei mused quietly from his position high above the Garden Center's floor.  He stood up a little more, and removed the cloth that covered his Jagan eye.  Opening the eye, he concentrated on Kurama's mind.  "Hn, I'll fix that…" with that thought in mind, and a soft purple glow emanating from his forehead, Hiei began his last effort of revenge.

~     ~     ~     ~     ~

     Through the shelves and crowds of people he was trying to get through, Kuwabara could see Hiei in the rafters still, though now obviously using his Jagan, judging from the glow.  "What is he DOING?" Kuwabara thought as he desperately made his way to the Garden Center, which was directly under the fire demon.

     When he had almost reached the entrance, his panic increased as he saw movement in the back aisles… but it was not the kind he had thought he would find.  The plants and trees that occupied the Center were… growing?  Rapidly, each plant and shrub doubled in size; emerging through each were vines and thorns that seemed to threaten the very customers around them.  He watched, eyes wide, as people started to run away from that section of the store, some already scratched or fending off a tangling vine.  In just moments, the entire Garden Center was overcome with huge menacing plants, seemingly bent on destruction.  Through the sudden jungle, Kuwabara spotted Botan and Kurama both now trapped inside the Center.  He tried to make his way inside, having to discreetly use his Spirit Sword to hack away the branches in his path, even though they sprang right back after each stroke and cut of his blade.

~     ~     ~     ~     ~

     Inside the Garden Center, Botan was becoming more and more frightened, while Kurama seemed almost in a zombie-like state.  

      "Kurama, wh-what's going on?" she yelled over the din inside the now panic filled store.  But the fox couldn't answer her question.  For not only did he not quite know himself what was happening, he had no control over his actions.  It was obvious to anyone who knew Kurama that the mayhem had been caused by his spirit power, but looking at his face, one would think he had as little to do with it as those who were now running out of the store.

~     ~     ~     ~     ~

     Up above the growing craziness and pandemonium, Hiei stood smirking, obviously pleased with his work.  He took one last view of his endeavor, then carefully found his way along the rafters towards the back exit of the building, of course keeping perfect balance.

     Making sure that the plants had taken over at least half of the store, Hiei finally released his hold on his friend's mind and, recovering the Jagan, left Wal-Mart in a much better mood than he had been in for days.

~     ~     ~     ~     ~

     Kurama could tell immediately when he received control of his own mind once again.  But in control or not, he was now trapped by vines and branches that he himself had brought to bear.  He frantically began using and focusing his spirit energy on the retraction of the crawling devastating plants and vines from the store.

     Just as Kurama was being held captive by his botanical creations, Botan found herself suspended several feet above the ground by numerous constricting vines.  The more she struggled, the more the vines seemed to wrap around her arms and legs.  "Help!" she yelled, realizing there was nothing she could do to help herself by now.  "Kurama?!"  She tried to find her boyfriend, but couldn't even see a glimpse of his red hair through the new foliage.  "Anybody??"

     "I'm coming!" came a valiant sounding yell through the veritable forest of green blocking Botan's view of the rest of the store.  "Hold on!"  The voice sounded closer, and crashing sounds could be heard as the would-be hero made his way towards the trapped girl.

     As Botan watched, she could see a golden light shining through the plants and vines in front of her, and yelling could be heard.  "I know that voice…" she said out loud to herself.  "Oh!  Kuwabara!" she exclaimed as the detective's spirit sword slashed through the last few layers dividing them.

     Kuwabara looked up at her from his attempt at a macho entrance.  "Wha—Hey, Botan, what's up?  Why are you here?" he asked, taking a moment to scratch his head in curiosity.

     "Never mind that, Kuwabara, would you mind terribly cutting me down?"

     "Huh? Oh! Yeah, of course!" he shouted as he resumed the attitude of the hero of the day.  He carefully cut the vines that had Botan ensnared, quickly enough for fear they too would re-generate.  In a moment or two she was down from her position, and safe again.  "C'mon," Kuwabara started, taking Botan's arm and looking for the best path for escape, "we've got to get out of here."

     Botan quickly freed herself from the tall boy's grasp, and shook her head.  "No, Kurama's still trapped in there!  We have to help him!"

     Not bothering to ask questions, Kuwabara nodded, ready to hack more plants when needed.  Just as he was preparing to chop up a path, however, Kurama emerged from the forest of vines, and headed towards them slowly, looking exhausted.  Botan ran to him immediately.  "Are you alright?" she asked as the redhead stopped walking and stood a bit shakily.

     Kurama nodded as best as he could, and gave her a weak smile.  "Yes.  I'm glad to see you weren't injured.  I reversed as much of the damage as I could, but the store will still be filled with plants soon, so we'd better get out of here quickly."  Even as he spoke, Kurama looked ready to collapse from lack of energy.  Kuwabara promptly helped him stand, taking one arm while Botan took the other, and the three headed out of the building as swiftly as possible to get Kurama home.

Scene 2:   ReiKai

     After giving Kurama a few days to rest and recuperate, Koenma summoned both him and Hiei to Spirit World.  Once he had them there, and had attained their undivided attention, he proceeded to lambaste them with a tirade of such force that it had Kurama grimacing and Hiei's eye twitching.

     "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!  How could you put innocent human lives in danger like that?!  Botan could have been killed!  I'd be out a perfectly good assistant, and it'd have been all you two's fault!  You made things so bad, I hear that Kuwabara was the one who had to save her… I can't believe you let things get that out of hand… I sent you to get jobs to keep you OUT of trouble, and you still manage to make it!…" Koenma rattled on and on in this manner for what seemed like hours to the two demons, even though it only actually lasted for about twenty minutes.  

     Finally, having tired himself out too much to continue his angry ranting, Koenma ceased his yelling and took a deep breath and sighed to himself.  He spoke again, though this time in a softer voice, "Sometimes I wonder if you two are more trouble than you're worth."

     Hiei "hn"d, while Kurama sighed slightly, though not saying a word.  Tiny toddler or not, both had learned it was smarter not to sass the Jr. ruler of Spirit World.  After a long moment of silence, however, Kurama finally spoke up.  "So," he began, his tone, of course, respectful, "what now, Koenma?"  Both demons looked at the tot expectantly, awaiting his answer.

     "What now?" Koenma repeated.  "Now," he said, "you two get one more chance to find yourselves employment.  NEW employment.  It would be wise for you, Kurama, to avoid Wal-Mart now, and since Hiei has no building to return TO…" the last part said with a glare at the fire demon.

     "Hn."

     "So we have a second chance, then?"

     Koenma nodded.  "Yes, Kurama.  But don't get me wrong, if you two manage to screw this next set of jobs up as royally as you did the last, you won't want to know what I'll do to reprimand you…" he let his voice trail off for dramatic effect, seeing the sweat dropped faces on the two before him.

     Both demons nodded, and were dismissed; with a challenge of finding new jobs, hopefully with a less disastrous outcome…

~~~~~^~~~~~^~~~~~^~~~~~

**A/N:**  There you all go… Hopefully this chapter lived up to any and all expectations you had built up over the time in between postings!  I am SO, so sorry for taking so long, I will do my VERY best to be quickly this time around!  The next chapter should indeed be interesting… Please Review!  ^__~ Ja!

-Draith


	8. Hiei's News

**A/N:**  I know, I'm a horrible person.  I don't deserve to live!  I've deprived whoever actually wants to read this story their chapter updates!  Sorry, everyone, I know this took LONGER than forever, but I've had issues with college.  It thinks it should swallow me whole into its dark, sinking abyss of doom.  I disagree.  We've had heated arguments.  I wrote this chapter; I won.  Don't shoot me for it being short!!  . 

**Disclaimer:**  I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho.  If I did, Kuronue would be in the series, and Hiei would always have the voice of the Japanese voice actor from the second movie… *dies thinking about the awesome not-deep voice*   …and be shirtless.  Every episode.  Every scene.  Ahem.

Chapter 8:  Hiei's News

Scene 1:  Minamino Residence

     The sun had barely risen over the horizon, sending small shafts of golden light through the window, when Hiei climbed through it and into Kurama's room.  The fire demon sat in the desk chair opposite the bed, for the moment patient enough to wait for his friend to awaken on his own.

     When this failed to happen even after several minutes of silence, however, Hiei began to get bored of listening to his friend breathe.  Removing his headband and concentrating the powers of his Jagan eye once more, he focused his energy and control of telepathy on the sleeping kitsune's mind.  Out of a sense of morbid curiosity, plus Hiei's generally devious and mischievous nature as well, he made Kurama imagine and believe that he was not, in fact, asleep in bed at home, but instead out with Botan.  

     Immediately, the redheaded boy smiled peacefully in his slumber.  He murmured something to his dreamt-up girlfriend, and smiled again, moving his arms out while on his side, as if he were reaching to embrace her.  

     Hiei snickered inwardly so as not to wake Kurama, but was so far thoroughly entertained and amused at his friend's mind.  Finally, after letting his comrade believe that he was actually kissing the ferry girl, Hiei reluctantly let his entertainment go, and released Kurama's mind.  

     Due to the sudden exit from his dream world, and release of pressure on his mind, Kurama woke up the instant Hiei let him go.  Blinking a few times to get his eyesight back to normal from the sandiness of sleep, he sat up and rubbed his eyes a bit groggily.  "Hiei?" he croaked, voice still gravelly from sleep.

     Hiei kept his features completely innocent by blanking his expression as he always did.  "Hn… good morning, fox," he said to his sleepy friend.  He continued to sit there, waiting for Kurama to fully wake up and be capable of actual conversation.  As eloquent and together as Kurama is and seems when around people and wide awake, it was amazing how different he was when still at home and half asleep.  It was almost as if his intelligence and coherence were simply not there first thing in the morning.  Hiei found this fact quite entertaining, and he made sure to be around for the event often, usually making the most out of it. 

     "Hmm," was all the bleary-eyed Kurama could conjure for a return greeting.  He pushed back his sheets and carefully stood up, moving slowly enough to not make himself dizzy.  "Be right back…" he mumbled as he made his way with heavy, stumbling steps to the bathroom to wake himself up.  

     Hiei snickered quietly, thoroughly amused at his friend's lethargic manner.  While waiting for the fix to make his amazing daily transformation, the curious fire demon began rooting through Kurama's desk drawer, not looking for anything in particular.  He scoffed lightly, thinking to himself how freakishly neat his friend really was.  Every drawer was in perfect organization, each section categorized and arranged accordingly.  Hiei didn't know of a use for half of the school supplies contained in several drawers, but he could still appreciate the fact that they didn't need to be so perfectly allocated in their storage spaces.

     Smirking evilly, he began randomly moving items from drawer to drawer, completely destroying Kurama's organization, hoping only to see the kitsune's face when he noticed the upheaval. Hearing the door open in the hallway, he quickly closed the newly configured drawer, and folded his arms, appearing innocently bored in the chair.  As he had suspected, Kurama came back into his room a moment after the door had opened.  

     The redhead appeared now as everyone usually saw him: hair in perfect array; school uniform pressed and neat, devoid of wrinkles; and, finally, looking completely awake and aware.  He looked over at Hiei, and raised an eyebrow at him.  "What were you doing before I came back?" he asked with a tone of light amusement, yet still managing to sound like a school teacher scolding a student who was fooling around in class.

     Hiei blinked back at him and said innocently, adding an element of annoyance to his voice, "Nothing, kitsune, I've merely been sitting here waiting for you."

     Kurama shook his head, obviously not believing Hiei's 'innocent' reply, but knowing it wasn't worth it to argue; plus the fire demon was entertaining when trying to get away with snooping.  He walked over to the other side of his desk, retrieving his pre-packed school bag and placing it on his shoulder.  "I have to leave soon," he began, "Was there any specific reason for your stopping by besides a good morning?"  He knew Hiei had done something or messed with something while he had been out of the room, but that discovery would have to wait until later, or Kurama would be late for school.  And Shuiichi Minamino was _never_ later for school.

     A smug smirk grew on Hiei's face, his crimson eyes lighting up with impish amusement.  "Yes," he replied, "there was a reason, fox."  Pausing just long enough to catch an exasperatedly impatient look cross his calm friend's features, Hiei continued, "I got a job."

     Kurama's eyes widened slightly, ruddy eyebrows rising in surprise.  "Really… should I even ask where?"  It was clear from the boy's tone that he suspected Hiei to be causing trouble, no matter where the fire demon had selected as his new location of employment.

     With a now mischievous smirk, Hiei shook his head, replying, "You're going to be late, kitsune, I'll tell you after your school."  Before Kurama could get out a word of protest, Hiei was out the window in a flash, leaving behind the echo of a taunting snicker.

     Kurama let out a long-suffering sigh and left his room, heading out of his house and to school, wondering where in the world Hiei could possibly have picked to work.

Scene 2:  ReiKai

     "Koenma, sir, do you think it was wise to let Hiei choose his own work after that whole fiasco with MacDonald's?" Botan asked her boss, a look of concern on her face.  It had been less than a week since the toddler had given the two demons such a heavy berating, but apparently the jaganshi had already found employment; and hadn't told anyone what it was yet.

     "How should I know, Botan?" Koenma responded, a little irked at being questioned, "I'm only in charge of Spirit World, it's not like I have intelligence…" the sarcasm in his voice was a bit uncharacteristic of Koenma, showing that he, too, was a bit worried for everyone's safety with this new development.  He took a drink of his tea, reveling in the moment of peace and quiet that it provided him, then looked back at the anxious ferry girl.  "Cheer up, Botan," he began, sounding much happier, "I'm sure it can't end up any worse than last time…"

     At that, they both sighed and sweat dropped, realizing as soon as it was said that that was wishful thinking.  Of course it could be worse.  With Hiei, one just never knew.  Besides the fact that Kurama rook three days to fully recover from the exhaustion of energy caused by Hiei's tirade at Wal-Mart.  Botan was still worried about him, as he usually wasn't one to stay down for long.  She suddenly had an idea.  Putting it to voice, she asked, "Koenma, sir, couldn't we get Yuusuke to follow Hiei around?  Make sure he's not getting into any more trouble?"  She looked hopefully at the demi-god, trying to avert any possible disasters.

     Koenma held his head in his hands, letting out a whiny sigh.  "I can't do that, you know how much Yuusuke would complain if I took his vacation away just to baby-sit Hiei!" he said, "I can't take that another time!"  He groaned and finished his tea.  "Besides, that demon's out getting a job so he CAN stay out of trouble, I can't afford to be wrong about that, this idea's already crashed once, if it fails," he paused for effect, now looking grimly serious, "My dad's going to KILL me!" he whimpered and groaned again, holding his head on desk with his hands once more.

     "Eh-heh…" was all Botan supplied as she wasn't a bit surprised at Koenma's outburst.  The palace certainly was frequented by his whiny cries.  She took a seat on the side of the desk, deciding to wait out the waves of frustration and worry that her boss now floated through.  She sighed, hoping silently that whatever Hiei did with this new job of his, it had nothing to do with Kurama, and got no one else hurt.  Botan couldn't stand the thought of someone she cared for getting hurt, and she'd seen too much of that lately.

     _Hiei had better stay away from Kurama THIS time,_ she thought, feeling enough resolution to personally make her hope come true.

Scene 3:  Meio High School

     Kurama checked the clock on the wall for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last five minutes. He sighed once more; cursing how slowly the day was going. He already had a bag full of make-up assignments due to several days' absences; which were in turn due to Hiei's outburst. 

His teacher droned on in the front of the classroom, lecturing on something that Kurama was sure had to be important; but his attention was completely lost in thought. Halfway through his long glare at the clock's slow-moving hands, his teacher had walked up to his desk and stood in front of him, casting an imposing shadow across the boy's features. Noticing the lack of light, Kurama took his attention finally from spacing out and turned his head slowly to face his teacher, looking up as innocently as possible.

"I suppose you think my lecture too long, Mr. Minamino?" he said, his booming voice strict even without its volume being raised.

Kurama smiled his purposefully charming and disarming smile, and shook his head with a gentle swing, bowing his neck slightly in a gesture of respect. "Of course not, Mr. Tatsuna, gomen nasai, it will not happen again," he said in his soft, nearly hypnotic tone. 

"Hmm, it had better not," the teacher responded, giving the redhead a reprimanding look, but ultimately turning back to the front of the classroom, letting Kurama go without any more admonitions. He continued his lecture; and, more discreetly now, Kurama continued to ignore everything his professor said. 

     _"Just a couple more hours,"_ he thought.  With a sigh, he watched the clock once more.  He couldn't wait to find out what Hiei had chosen for work, even though the very idea worried him.  Kurama suddenly smiled, remembering that Botan was meeting him at his house later.  He had something positive to look forward to after school as well.

     Thinking more happily now, he actually focused on the lecture and began taking a few perfectly scribed notes.  Maybe the day could go by a little faster that way, even with his bag of assignments for later.  He just had to make it through two more classes without getting into any MORE trouble…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Minamino Residence  [later]

     Hiei waited balanced in the tree outside Kurama's window, concealing himself behind the leaves.  He was beginning to get quite impatient for his friend to return home from his school.  It was a relatively quiet neighborhood, good for a peaceful residence, but not allowing the fire demon many chances for entertainment during his wait.  Even so, he had not refrained from messing with the minds of any small children or adults that happened to walk unsuspectingly near his perch.  He had had his most fun with a young boy who had gone by while walking his dog.  The child was most likely scarred for life… Hiei snickered quite sinisterly at the memory. 

     "What's so funny, Hiei?" came a smooth voiced query from the ground beneath Hiei's chosen branch.  

     Hiei had been enough caught up in his evil little reverie that he hadn't noticed his friend's arrival from down the sidewalk, where he had last felt his energy approaching.  He nearly jumped at the sudden sound, though keeping enough control over himself not to lose his stability in the tree.  "Hn… go inside and I'll tell you, fox," he snapped, standing on his branch nimbly and hopping through Kurama's open bedroom window.

     Kurama just sighed, used to Hiei's obsession for suspense.  He headed for the door.  At least now he would find out what job Hiei had chosen for himself.  Walking inside and up the stairs, Kurama just hoped it wasn't too bad.

     He opened the door to his bedroom and walked inside, spotting Hiei sitting calmly on his inner windowsill, arms crossed, yet looking patient for once.  Setting down his school bag, Kurama turned to face his friend, crossing his arms as well.  "Alright, Hiei, I'm here.  Tell me," he demanded, voice tempered as always.  He stood his ground and waited, watching the self-satisfied smirk creep across Hiei's face.

     "What I was laughing at?  Or what job I got…"

     Kurama didn't falter or even blink, calmly and evenly replying, "Your job, Hiei."

     Hiei's smirk widened.  He was clearly proud of himself.  "It's better if I show you, Kurama.  You up for a walk?" he asked, sounding nearly mocking in his amusement.

     Kurama sighed, keeping his arms folded over his chest, though impatiently drumming his fingers on his arm.  Kurama rarely showed clear signs of anxiety; and Hiei was enjoying watching every moment of it.  "Why not just tell me, and get it over with?"

     Hiei just shrugged ever so slightly, and favored his friend with a casual "hn" before standing and climbing out the window once more.  From outside, in the tree, he called back, "Are you coming?"

     Figuring he'd never know unless he followed Hiei's lead, Kurama nodded and proceeded out the window after the fire demon, who was already on the ground and making his way towards town at a steady pace.  Landing gracefully on the ground from his jump out of the tree, Kurama walked after him, keeping good enough track of Hiei's spirit energy to follow him even that far behind.  

     When Kurama finally did catch up with Hiei, the fire demon was standing on the sidewalk, looking incredibly smug.  With a look at the establishment, Kurama raised an eyebrow and let out a small chuckle.  "This place?  Are you sure that's a wise decision, Hiei?"

     Scowling a little in defense, Hiei snorted.  "It's a perfectly fine decision, Kurama.  I notice you haven't even MADE a choice yet…" he let the sentence hang, hoping to make his point clear enough for Kurama to take the bait.

     His eyes still trailing over the outside of the building, Kurama sighed, "I know, Hiei."

     Hiei's scowl deepened as Kurama passed over the comment without a single nibble.  "Hn… at least come inside and look around, I start tonight."

     The redhead nodded, deciding to at least give his friend that much, and the two of them walked inside the building.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**A/N:**  Ok, I'm convinced I've turned evil… I made a chapter for you guys, and I didn't ever let you know what the job was!  I feel so ashamed… and yet, so elated… Gah.

James:  I've crossed you over, Hun… You're evil now, accept it; you're better off anyhow.

Fine… I hope to have more of this story up for you all as soon as hum- well, Elvenly possible.  ^__^ Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

-Draith


	9. Demons and Alcohol Don't Mix!

**A/N:**  Here I am… it's been FOREVER!  Gomen nasai!  Here is the 9th installment of FFF, and, as the name implies, our favorite bishies will have an encounter with alcohol coming up.  I'm only warning you of this now, because TECHNICALLY, this implies underage drinking.  I am NOT condoning this, and I firmly believe in upholding the law… 9 out of 100 times anyway… heh.  I'm not sure what Japan's drinking laws are, but if human Kurama were in the US at 16 he couldn't drink, so, yeah… Draith did NOT tell her readers they could drink at a young age, officer!  And making a fake ID or whatever is still wrong, just to re-clarify…  (Review responses at the end….)

**Disclaimer:**  I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho.  I don't own ANYTHING… Especially not anything that is mentioned in this chapter, no sir, I don't.  *Fights off greedy little disclaimer gnomes that wanted to do the talking for her* Eh heh… there may be a gnome for every need, but sometimes they are just pushy!

**Chapter 9:  Demons and Alcohol**

**Scene 1:  Urameshi Residence**

     "No way!" came the yell through the bathroom door at the Urameshi house.  Yuusuke had laughed in Botan's face when she had come to him and asked him to follow Hiei around.  He hadn't taken her seriously then, but now he was getting slightly annoyed.

     Botan whined in an exasperated loss of patience, stamping her floor on the floor outside the closed door.  "Oh, come ON, you big baby, you've had enough vacation already!" Botan called through the door.  "Now get out here and help out!"

     Muffled and garbled due to the fact that he was brushing his teeth, Yuusuke replied, "ENOUGH, Botan, you said it yourself, I'm on vacation!"  The sink faucet could be heard running as Yuusuke attempted once more to tune the ferry girl out and stop her bothering.

     "Ohhhh!"  Botan balled up her fists in her frustration.  She knew Yuusuke marched to the beat of his own drummer, doing things his way ultimately, but she couldn't believe he was being this difficult.  With a 'hmph' in her throat, Botan finally put forth her last-ditch effort and opened the door to the bathroom, just as the sink was shut off inside.  Flinging it back, she barged on in, ready to make her last case loudly enough for him to finally agree.

     Unfortunately, unbeknownst to Botan, as she hadn't greeted him in person yet that day, Yuusuke was dressed only in a pair of light blue boxers as he stood by the sink.  As the door swung in, he recoiled in surprise, his eyes wide.  "Hey!!  Botan!!" he yelled, backing up a few steps as she walked in, looking ready to smack him.

     It took her a moment, but when Botan finally noticed the spirit detective's lack of attire, she instantly turned red and stopped in her tracks.  "I…"

     "…Well don't just STAND there!"

     Botan shook her head to clear it, closing her eyes tightly, and turned even redder at her shocked staring at Yuusuke.  "I'm sorry… enjoy your vacation, Yuusuke!" she rattled off as fast as possible.  She then quickly grabbed hold of the doorknob, turning around and yanking the door closed behind her.  Stopping in the hallway to collect herself, Botan took a deep breath and let it out.  "Well THAT was different…"  She then sighed, realizing that she now had no one to follow Hiei.  She didn't dare send Kuwabara, as that could turn out dangerous at best.

     Realizing she was still standing outside the bathroom door, Botan quickly headed down the short hall and out the front door.  "I'll just have to find him myself, I suppose…" she spoke to the air as she walked down the sidewalk.  She smiled, suddenly remembering she was meeting Kurama later on.  Hiei would have to wait to be checked up on until after.  Producing her oar and flying off to get ready, Botan just hoped he didn't cause any trouble before then.

**Scene 2: Hiei's Work**

     Kurama held back a slight cough in his throat as Hiei and he entered the smoky interior of the bar.  The haze was so thick in the air that the fox found it difficult just to take steady breaths.  He glanced over at Hiei as they headed for a table.  It seemed the fire demon was having no trouble with the murky atmosphere.  "Figures," he thought to himself.  Kurama sighed, setting his breathing level to a shallow intake to adapt to the room's pall.  

     As they settled on the hard, wooden chairs, the proper human part of Kurama screamed at him inside; he chastised himself for being inside a bar when he was still five years under the legal drinking age.  Of course, the flipside of the inner-thoughts coin was Youko.  Kurama found his youkai consciousness congratulating him on finally getting out for once in his life, and urged him to have some fun.  His mind bounced between the two, as if his ultimate choice and opinion was being tossed like a beach ball back and forth between the angel on his one shoulder, and the devil on the other.  Kurama closed his eyes, taking as deep a breath as he dared, and reopened them to calmly take in his surroundings.  For the moment, at least, the little devil had won.

     There were booths along three of the walls of the main room: the one the door was set in, and the two adjacent sides.  Tables of varying sizes littered the floor that stretched between the front wall and the front of the bar.  The bar itself, curving and wide, stretched nearly the length of the back wall, ceasing only for the cornered ends to allow enough room for stools.  Behind the bar were a couple feet of walking space, and then shelves upon shelves of glasses, bottles, and other supplies for maintaining customers' drinking.  Two doors led back from the wall behind the bar.  As it swung open to accommodate the entrance of a bartender, Kurama could see that one lead to a back kitchen.  The other stayed closed as far as he could see, and he assumed it lead out to the back of the building.

     Hiei sat back in his chair, popping a cashew from the center bowl on the table into his mouth.  He watched his friend's surveillance of the room, amused.  When the fox's attention finally focused back on his own table, Hiei smirked at him.  "What do you think, Kurama?" he took another few nuts from the bowl, waiting for his friend to give his opinion.

     "Well," the redhead began, "It's a nice building, Hiei, for what it is."  He paused, seeming curious, then spoke the question that had been on his mind since they had spotted the bar earlier.  "Hiei…" the fire demon simply raised a dark eyebrow, popping a cashew, so Kurama continued, "how, with the human ID card that Koenma gave you, were you able to secure a job at a bar?"

     That question only made Hiei smirk wider. Looking and sounding smug, Hiei reached into the folds of his cloak, pulling out the card and handing it to Kurama.  "Take a close look at it again, fox…"

     Kurama did as he was directed, and glanced over the information on the card.

     Hiei Bubbles            Sex:  M            H:  4'10" (without hair) Age:  16

Handing the card back across the table, Kurama shook his head, "It's the same as it was, Hiei.  What did you expect me to see?"

     Smirking slightly once more, Hiei pushed the card across the tabletop again.  "Try it again, Kurama," he said quietly, his voice having a mischievous quality to it.  As he did, there was the faintest violet glow from under his bandanna.

     Raising his eyebrow, Kurama took the card in his hand and held it in front of him, looking over the stats again.  Just as he was about to complain of repeated viewing, the card seemed to go a little blurry in his hand.  After a moment, the numbers became clear again, showing him as "Hiei Tokama," 22 years old.  Kurama chuckled a bit at the name change, though he didn't comment on it, merely nodded and handed the card back for the last time.  "Nice trick, Hiei."

     Hiei retrieved the card and tucked it away back inside the folds of his cloak.  "It works well enough on the weak minds of these humans," he said, then smirked impishly at his friend.  "Though it worked quickly on someone so supposedly intelligent as you, didn't it, Kurama…" he finished, sounding amused.  

     Kurama blinked, surprised by Hiei's quick witted insult.  Hiei was by no means stupid, but hardly displayed any type of humor at all.  He shook his head and chuckled, letting the comment go.  At this point it was better to let the ribbing slide of his back than let Hiei have the satisfaction of seeing him annoyed.  He decided instead to change the subject.  "So, you start tonight?" he asked casually, plucking a nut from the bowl Hiei had nearly depleted by now.

     Hiei paused, giving his friend a look for taking one of the last few nuts, and slid the bowl to his side of the table to prevent the offence from recurring.  Kurama shook his head at the move, but Hiei ignored him and continued to eat his cashews.  "And you should too…" he let the invitation hang, looking at Kurama with an amused expression.

     The suggestion surprised Kurama, and his ruddy eyebrows shot up in question.  "Oh?" he asked, less intrigued than curious about what Hiei was planning.  "I should what…" He watched as the fire demon finished off the rest of the nuts and leaned back in his chair.  

     "You should start here tonight, as well, Kurama.  You know you need to get out more… and I can change your naming card as well, the same way."

     Kurama blinked.  He had not expected Hiei to come right out and ask him to work here.  He hadn't, in fact, expected him to ask that at all.  Even so, he considered it a moment.  _It IS illegal, I suppose… though part of me is much more than old enough to pass for legal…_  Hiei just watched him think, patiently confident that his friend would agree.  Kurama frowned.  _What would mother think of my working here?_

     Hiei snorted.  "Give it a rest, fox.  Time to stop being your mother's boy, and do what you want."  Had Kurama been looking, he would have seen the Jagan glowing softly under Hiei's bandanna.  "Think about it, Kurama… if you're here, then you can see to it that I don't get into the kind of trouble you'd expect… Don't you think that'd be a wise decision?"  He was trying to trick his friend, and was succeeding since Kurama wasn't paying attention enough to guard against it.  

     Kurama's voice was slightly distant, having the quality of one in deep thought; it was a common tone of one being manipulated through telepathy.  "Yes, I suppose that would be useful.  Perhaps it would work out if I did… make good money, after all…" his voice trailed off, as Hiei made sure that he was thoroughly convinced that he should work at the bar.  When the fox's eyes and attention finally started to focus back on where he was, he shook his head slightly, clearing it of confusion as Hiei released his mind very gently, assuring that his influence went undetected.

     "Decided, then?"

     "Hmn?"  Kurama looked at him, seeming to finally realize where he was again.  "Yes, I think it should be a good enough plan, Hiei."

     "Good," he responded, standing up.  "Then we'll talk to my employer…"

Scene 3:  The Park 

     Small children had been playing about the park for a while; people had been in and out all day.  Botan sat on the bench, legs crossed comfortably, waiting as she had for an hour now for Kurama to arrive.  She was sure she had the time right, though sometimes the busyness of her duties caused time to fly or slow on a whim.  She sighed.  No, this time she was right; Kurama was late.

     Kurama was _never_ late.  It was one of the million little things she loved about him.  He was punctual, a perfectly timed guest, always arriving on time for any event or meeting.  If he was late, it was cause for worry.  And things going as they had lately, by the time he was an hour and a half late, Botan was getting very worried.  She finally gave up on waiting, and headed off to try to find him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     She first tried the high school, thinking he perhaps got waylaid with extra assignments and class work to make up for his absences.  But floating around and looking in each window only told her that he had gone from there at the regular time, no doubt, as no students were still in the building.  Where could he BE?

     Botan sighed and turned around to fly off in the direction of Kurama's house.  Maybe he had forgotten, she thought with a bit of disappointment.  But that wasn't like him… he wouldn't forget HER, would he?  No.

     She was at his house in short time and dropped into the tree lightly, trying to be as stealthy as possible so no one would see her in the air.  She put away her oar and walked out on the strong branch that led by Kurama's window.  She peered inside, looking first to his desk; it was empty.  Then his chair, and closet; there was no one there.  Maybe he was sick.  She checked the bed, but it was made perfectly as Kurama always did every morning.  She sighed again and wondered where he could be.  "I suppose I could ask Koenma to look… He'd be able to at least see where he is…" she said aloud, retrieving her oar once more and flying out of the tree into the air.  She flew high up out of sight and opened a portal to Spirit World, spiraling through.  For a moment, she entertained the thought that perhaps she might not _want_ to know where Kurama was.  She quickly dismissed it, though.  She trusted him.  He wouldn't be doing anything to jeopardize their relationship.

     Would he?

Scene 4:  Back at the bar 

     The manager of the bar had nearly immediately hired Kurama.  His looks were sure to bring more business and he was promised to be a good worker.  What a combination for attracting customers; the brooding dark bad-boy image of Hiei, plus the pretty-boy nice guy persona of Kurama.  Business would boom.  Not just any business, either, girls would come in.  The manager grinned to himself.  There would be more girls in the bar than ever with these two on board and working the crowd.  He just had to teach them how to tend the bar correctly.  The short one had been quick enough to pick up on the actual workings of the pulleys and which drinks were which, but his people skills were severely lacking.

     The redhead, on the other hand, was a natural at relating to the patrons.  It wasn't long before he had people piling their troubles on his slender shoulders.  It got so bad, that the boy had come to his boss for advice on how to get the customers to leave him alone and just drink.  The manager had simply told him to take a drink himself when the drunks bothered him.

     That was the problem.  That was how it had started.  Once the idea had worked for relaxing Kurama, the manager, Nakuno, had tried to salvage what little there was of Hiei's manners, and had told him to take a drink or two.  The hope had been that this would merely take the edge off of his abrasive personality.  Instead… Well, it took the edge off, all right.

     With their outlooks changed, the boys were much more charismatic in their bartending.  That added to the predicted rush of females to the place made for an interesting combination.  Though Nakuno himself had been at the bar to handle the rush, he was not getting anything more than a trickle of customers, and those were mostly old men at that.  All of the women, of any age, made sure to find a spot at the counter to catch one of the new tender's attentions.  After about an hour of this, most of the men had left the bar, leaving it full of half-soused fawning females ogling the new employees.  In fact, the only males that were left were either ones that were a bit questionable, or ones that had actually hit on Nakuno before.  

     That's when the fateful words were spoken.  Having seen one of the new tenders taking a drink to calm himself, one of the more smashed young ladies called out, "You guys should have a drinking contest!"  No sooner were the words out of her slurring mouth, than the entire place erupted into an overwhelming clamor of agreement.  Every last drunken patron wanted to see Hiei and Kurama challenge each other to a drinking contest.  

     Hiei smirked and seemed quite intrigued by the idea, though Kurama looked unsure.  The redhead looked to Nakuno in question.  The manager merely shrugged and told him that it was his decision.  Nakuno could handle the bar by himself, especially if everyone was paying attention to them.  He usually wouldn't let his workers do this, but if a bar full of drunken women wanted something, the wise choice was to acquiesce.  So he did; and so did Kurama, much to Hiei's confident delight.

     Everyone in the bar gathered around one of the central tables as Hiei and Kurama sat down facing each other, Hiei with his back to the end of the bar.  Nakuno brought out a platter of shot glasses, and a couple bottles of sake from behind the counter.  It was difficult for the manager to get through the tight throng of female bodies packed around the table where the two boys sat, though it was not the worst experience of his life…  He set the tray on the table, filling as many shots as he could to prepare before the crowd pushed him back away from them.  They were chanting for the two to start. 

     At Hiei's gesture, Kurama took the first shot.  He lifted the small glass, laden with sake, off of the table, slowly raising it to his lips; then he paused—whether for effect or uncertainty, it was unclear—but finally drank the contents of the glass, coughing a little.  Giggles erupted from many of the girls, and Hiei snickered.  Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Kurama defended, "It has been a while since I've had a drink."  The statement was certainly true enough; he hadn't had an alcoholic beverage since he'd been human.  This body had never tasted sake.

     In challenge and match, Hiei downed his shot with no visible effect.  He smirked at Kurama, ego clearly boosted by his immediate advantage in tolerance.  The game went on much the same way for quite a while, and for too many shots.  Kurama slowly warmed up to the drink, though it was clear he was drunk before long.  Hiei seemed to stay perfectly sober, a fact that confused Kurama, and even Nakuno.  He had had just as many shots as Kurama, and even a pro would be at least buzzed by then, but not Hiei.  The small fire demon was knocking back shot after shot, to the delight of the crowd.  He reveled in the attention.  Though, to his annoyance, Kurama was receiving just as much attention for getting drunk as he was for staying sober.  Hiei was mad.  It seemed after that that he finally seemed to be affected by the alcohol.  Indeed, after merely three more shots, he was almost as plastered as the fox.  Normally this would have fostered some curiosity in Kurama's calculating mind, but too much sake had clearly dulled his mind and perhaps even his common sense.

     After just one more round, Kurama fell off his chair, signally the match over, and Hiei, even drunk as he was, the victor.  He grinned at the applause he was getting.  Hiei was plastered.

Scene 5:  ReiKai 

     Botan burst into Koenma's office, not even bothering to knock, the wind from the flung-open door causing papers the fly off the demi-god's desk like so many scared off pigeons.  Any other time she would have stopped to apologize and maybe even help him clean up.  Instead, she marched right up to his desk, hands on her hips.  "I can't find him _ANYWHERE!_" she exclaimed in an excited tone.  Her face was not one of happiness.  In the time between the living world and her arrival at ReiKai, Botan's worry had grown exponentially.  

     Koenma, just recovering from an anguished cry at his papers being intermingled and messed up, whimpered and held his head, muttering a calming counting exercise.    When finished, his amber eyes found Botan's pink ones, clearly displaying both his exhaustion and annoyance.  "Who are you trying to find that's important enough to barge in here like a parade of elephants?!" he asked, voice and tone going from incredulous to near hysterical by the time the short sentence was spoken.

     Botan let out an exasperated sigh, not seeming too phased by Koenma's yelling in her own upset frame of mind.  "Kurama!  I looked everywhere, he's just not THERE!"  The ferry girl's voice matched her employer's for hysterics.

     "Calm down, Botan!  I'll look for Kurama if you need to find him, now _pick up these papers!!"_  

     Botan blinked at the yell, startled out of her upset tirade.  "Oh… ok," she said more softly, gathering up the fallen papers from the floor while Koenma grabbed his remote and started flipping through the channels that Kurama was normally found on.  Botan straightened, smoothing her kimono, and looked at the screen.  "Oh, I already tried all of those, Koenma, sir!" she said plaintively.  "He's not at any of them, and his school is closed by now."

     Koenma ignored her and continued to look through the channels' pictures on display.  "Hmm…" he started looking through random places in the town, knowing Hiei couldn't go farther than the city limits, and Kurama might be with him, if he could be found nowhere else.  "He wouldn't be anywhere near people, that wouldn't make sense…" he muttered.  His flicking brought him past businesses in town.  He checked McDonald's just to be safe, but there had been no one there since the fire.  "Hmm.  Wal-Mart… he wouldn't, Kurama's not allowed back," flick, "The Park?  No, not there, either…" flick, "Where could they be?" flick, "No, that's just two rejects from the Village People dancing on a bar top…" he continued flicking.

     Botan blinked at the screen.  "Koenma, sir, wait… go back!"  She thought something was familiar about the bar.

     "What?  Fine… Which part?" he flicked backwards, stopping when Botan yelled.  They both peered at the screen as two obviously drunk men were dancing on the counter at a bar.  No… not just two drunks… Hiei and Kurama!  "_What?!_  Botan!  You were supposed to keep an eye on those two!  You let them get DRUNK!" Koenma yelled at her, mouth staying open, unable to take unbelieving eyes from the crazy, drunk demons.  

     "I… I'm… sorry?"  Botan had no clue what to say.  She'd never seen either one of them like that.  Kurama hadn't had a drink in his entire human life, and Hiei was always painfully sober.

     The toddler finally snapped himself out of his shock and looked at Botan.  "Well?  What are you sitting here for?  Go get them!!"

Scene 6:  The Bar 

     Music had been flowing from the jukebox for the past hour, girls squealing, dancing, fawning; and two demons were the objects of all attention.  They were perched atop the counter, dancing to an old disco song, completely drunk.  Nakuno was behind the bar, serving a drink here and there to any patron that wasn't already wasted beyond comprehension.  Any would-be customer that had tried to enter the bar in the last forty-five minutes either got scared off, or simply couldn't find their way through the mass of female bodies packing the floor of the bar.  Several people had gotten lost; Nakuno had seen them come in, had not seen them leave, but could not see them anywhere.  It was as if the crowd had actually swallowed them up.  The thought was nearly frightening.

     Nakuno shook off the worry and continued serving drinks, as a new uproar surged through the masses.  A few girls close to the bar had started shouting for the boys to take off their shirts.  As soon as the suggestion was voiced, more and more girls picked it up until the entire room erupted into a chant once again.  "Shirt!  Shirt!  Shirt!  Shirt!"  They got louder with every cry, each word spoken with more intensity, more wild abandon.  What seemed an impossibly packed group in front of the "stage" they'd made of the counter became even more crammed as the girls in the back crowded forward to see the action.  

     Kurama and Hiei looked at each other, swaying a bit as they stopped dancing.  Hiei blinked, trying to keep his eyes in focus as he steadied himself by holding onto the top of Nakuno's head.  "Whatever you want to do, fox," he slurred, "I don't care…" Nakuno had to hold Hiei up as he had started to fall from the bar.

     Kurama shook his head to clear it, nearly falling forward onto a mass of adoring fans.  His voice was as bad off or worse than Hiei's as he responded, "Eh, sure… why not?" and shrugged.  If Hiei thought Kurama was off in the morning, it was nothing compared to the youko when drunk.  He chuckled slightly, laughing more than he intended due to reduced control over such things.

     Hearing the two assents, the girls squealed and screeched happily.  They crowded ever closer as Hiei, then Kurama, slowly—due to their drunken state of low motor control more than a conscious intent to tease—pulled their shirts over their heads.  Dozens of hands raised into the air tried to grab not only the shirts, but the boys they came from as well.

     In the midst of the melee for a pair of shirts, the door to the bar opened, allowing yet another female presence inside.  This one was different, however, and as the boys on the bar slung and whirled the shirts over their heads, Botan's eyes widened.  "What in the world…" then she spotted Kurama's shirtless upper body, and before she could catch herself, stared.  When she finally got back to her senses, she blushed.  She'd seen Hiei without a shirt before, everyone who'd seen him fight had, but impressive as his physique was, this first sight of Kurama shirtless surprised her to embarrassment. Over her initial shock, she made a desperate line through the thick crowd of girls for the front of the bar.  Her jealousy was rising by the step; she didn't' want any of them seeing her boyfriend like that.

     As Botan made her way over, Kurama and Hiei seemed to have decided they should throw their shirts to their loving audience and see what happened when the were caught.  Hiei had already tossed his, seeming quite entertained by the 10-15 girls that dove at, around, and over each other to get at the piece of clothing… that was then ripped to shreds.  Most of the girls who had grabbed for it did actually get a piece for themselves, which only made them more manic.  They wanted Kurama's too.

     Seeing the attention Hiei got from his shirt-flinging escapade, Kurama smirked a lop-sided, drunken smirk, and tossed his shirt into the moving, pushing throng.  Of course, he never expected the girl to catch the shirt would be his girlfriend.  He grinned at the uproar from his shirt being thrown, not seeming to have noticed Botan's appearance yet.  He couldn't, however, ignore the yell that came from only a few rows back in the crowd.

     "_KURAMA!_"  Even over the din of the room, Botan's more than scolding reproach was quite loud when it reached Kurama's ears.  He was certainly startled to have heard his real name in a building full of human girls, and, in his shock, lost his footing on the bar, tumbling forward into the crowd… or so he would have, if Botan hadn't appeared out of it, floating on her oar, to catch him.  All of the drunken girls stopped their clamor, not believing that someone was actually flying in the room.  They looked on with wide eyes and dropped jaws.  Botan hooked an arm around Kurama's waist and set him in front of her, then grabbed Hiei by the belt and stuck him over the oar behind her with a yelled order to hold on.

     Nakuno stood behind the counter in a state of incredulous shock.  This night had been different from the start, sure… but a blue-haired girl flying on an oar in his bar?  That was a bit more than he was willing to swallow.  Most of his patrons became quite subdued as they all watched the girl fly off with the two new bartenders.  Their entertainment was gone, but he knew they'd all have a whopper of a tale to tell… That is, if anyone would believe the story from a drunk girl.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**A/N:**  WHEW… x_X  @_@ That took SO bloody long to type up… and I know it took me… eek… like, four months to write… ___ I'm so sorry!  I hope this will get me forgiven, please review as a token of good will?  Thanks!  I love you guys!!!

Kuroya:  Thank you SO much!  I seriously think that is about the best compliment I could receive when it comes to writing fan fiction.  You're the best!! *glomps*

FreekothePenguin:  *giggles* those are incredibly hilarious suggestions… If I didn't have it all planned out, I might consider it!!

l-Steph-Chan-l:  Sorry… but I think the K-B fluffiness is played out in this fic.  I wasn't intending it to be a romance story for those two, I merely had them coupled as a side factor, not plotline.  Sorry to everyone this upsets.  If you really want one, I may try to fit something in during the next chapter, ok?  Gomen!

Angel:  I love angry mobs!  Woo-hoo!

ChibiLuver:  Yes, I know I did… I've gone evil…

James- Yes you have, Hun, it's great! ^__^

…Oy.  Next time, Gadget!  …Or, the non-geek way to say goodbye… Bye!

-Draith


	10. This Is Why

**A/N:**  Hooray for me, I listen to reviewers! First of all, I would like to let everyone know how happy and grateful I am for all your support and reviews!  I have recently made my goal of 150 reviews on one story!!  ^__^ I'm so happy!  Secondly, part of the first scene in this chapter was quite unplanned at first, though reading my reviews spawned the basic idea.  I've fulfilled a request of sorts, though in my own way.  I do think this will be the last of that plotline, though, so enjoy it while you have it! ^_~ 

Chapter 10:  This Is Why We Don't Get Drunk And Dance On Bar Tops      Scene 1:  Airborne 

     Before they even arrived in Spirit World, Botan knew that the boys were in no shape for a lecture.  She had been able to keep Kurama steady on her oar by her arm around his waist —even with his arms stretching straight out and his yelling "I'm flying!"  Hiei, on the other hand, was a different matter entirely.  He kept whooping and yelling unintelligible sounds as she flew higher and higher towards the portal to ReiKai.  He had fallen off the end of the oar more than once, Botan having to turn around and speed straight for the ground just to catch him in time.

     After the third time, she stopped on top of a building and tied his belts to the last stick part of the oar, before it panned out at the end.  However, after a few more minutes of flying, even though the white bands were still firmly fastened to the wood, there was significantly less weight pulling on the oar as they climbed.  It was almost unperceivable—especially with Kurama's hollering—due to Hiei's small size, but Botan glanced back to find him gone once again.  She stared at the empty pants in shock as they flapped in the wind.  Finally registering that the demon was gone, she sighed in exasperation and turned around once more to re-gather him.  She zoomed downward, carefully held Kurama to her, and searched for Hiei's falling body.

     She realized with startling clarity then that if Hiei's pants were still tied to her oar, they were no longer on his body.  Botan's eyes widened, then squinted almost shut as she thought of the possible sights she could be subjected to.  "Kurama!" she yelled in front of her above the whistling wind in her ears, "Quick!  Look, do you see Hiei anywhere?"

     "I'm flying!"

     "Kurama!  This is important!  Look for Hiei!!" she yelled again.

     Kurama only repeated his new favorite phrase and completely ignored her instructions.  Botan quickly opened her eyes, forcing herself to look for the small retreating form of Hiei.  She found him quickly, and was quite relieved to see a pair of boxers around his waist and legs.  Unfortunately, by this time his pants had found themselves loose from the oar, and had flown off.

     Steadying her oar, she reached out with one arm, wrapped it around the other youkai's waist, and placed him in front of Kurama, forcing the redhead to keep an eye on him.  This finally stopped his falling, but not his incessant hollering.  Botan was getting concerned; drunk or not, this was HIEI.  She had no clue how much they'd had to drink, and could get no intelligent answer out of either of them right then.  They would have to sleep it off before they could do anything.

     And so when Botan finally made it to ReiKai with her two charges, she headed straight for her room, bypassing Koenma's office completely.  Hiei was passed out by that time, so she set him on the floor in the corner of her room.  She figured he was used to trees, so a bed wouldn't be necessary for him.  On the contrary, Kurama was conscious, though still quite drunk.  Her oar gone, Botan had a hard time keeping him on his feet without falling herself.

     "Come on, Kurama, work with me here… left foot, right foot… walk straight!" she tried to instruct him, easing her way towards the bed, but the demon would have none of it, and only repeated everything she said, while stumbling.  

     He chuckled at his own clumsiness; then started singing.  Not just any song, however, he started singing the song that never ends.  And he didn't show any signs of stopping by himself as he began spinning in a circle in the middle of Botan's bedroom.

     "Ohh!"  Botan had had just about enough of Kurama's foolishness, and walked over to stand beside him.  She waited until his spinning brought him around to face her then grabbed both sides of his waist firmly.  His whirling stopped and he blinked in surprise, looking a bit dizzy at the sudden stop in motion; but he didn't stop singing.  "Kurama!" she tried to get him to stop by sheer whining ability, but it didn't appear to phase the youko in the slightest.

     "…Yes it goes on and on my friend…"

     Patience gone, Botan took one hand from Kurama's waist, cupped it behind his head, and pulled him towards her to kiss him.  She could tell that at the moment this surprised him, as it took several moments for him to stop humming the song against her mouth and return the kiss.  

     He did return it, however, and wrapped his arms around her waist, puling her against him, while deepening the kiss.  It was quickly becoming clear that Kurama's sobriety was no longer the point of the exercise.  Nevertheless, just as it seemed he was possibly close to normal, he pulled away and hugged her, laying his head on her shoulder.

     "…Kurama?" Botan said hesitantly.  "Everything ok?"

     He didn't answer, and his arms slid down from her waist… and fell limp at his sides, his head sitting heavily on her shoulder.  The rest of his body leaned its weight against Botan as she held her arms around him.  The alcohol had finally gotten to him; he'd passed out.  With a sigh, she helped him over to lie on the bed.  She debated a moment before walking to the other side and crawling in near him.  At least that way she could keep an eye on him until he woke up.  They'd both likely have horrible hangovers when they came to, but—pain or not—they'd still have to face Koenma.  Botan draped an arm protectively over Kurama's waist, deciding to take a short nap as well while they all awaited the summons.

Scene 2:  ReiKai 

     The demi-god's mouth had stood open for over an hour.  A line of drool had made itself a part of his visage by dangling out of the side of his mouth.  His eyes were still wide with shock and disbelief. The view screen had been turned off twenty minutes earlier.

     George, the ruler's faithful oni, was getting more nervous by the second, wringing his hands rather obsessively.  "Uh… Koenma, sir? …The screen has been off for quite a while now; you can look away now, sir…" he tried to keep the nervous worry out of his voice, but, as always, failed miserably.  George sounded as panicked as he did everyday.

     Finally, after blue fingers had been waved and snapped in front of his face several times, Koenma blinked and seemed to come back.  "Ogre!" he yelled, smacking the apprehensive oni's hand away.  "What do you think you're doing?"

     George stammered, unsure what to say to the angry toddler.  "I, uh… but… Sir, you'd been staring at the screen for a long time, and it's off now, Sir…"  He wisely backed up a step or two.  

     "Oh…" Koenma looked at the view screen as if he hadn't been staring at it for an hour.  "Of course it is… I knew that, ogre, now watch yourself or you'll pay with spanking."

     The oni's eyes grew wide and he pressed his hands together in a frightened plea.  "Oh, please, Koenma, Sir… anything but spankings!"

     "Stop it, ogre, you're embarrassing yourself.  Now get me something to drink, my throat is dry…" Koenma finally sat back against his pillowed chair, arms crossed, eyes closed tightly as he did when he had a headache.

     Knowing that Koenma's headaches were often dangerous to those around him, George opted not to mention the reason for his master's dry throat, and quickly scampered off with a "yes, Koenma, sir" to get a drink for him.

     He had not been gone 20 seconds when a cry came from the office behind him.  "Ogre!" the toddler was very impatient as a rule, and worse when he didn't feel his best.  George hurried back to the room with a large glass of tea and a sweet biscuit, hoping to take the edge off of Koenma's mood.  It worked as he'd hoped it would; the tea calmed Koenma's throat, the biscuit assuaged his appetite for the moment… However, neither affected his anger more than as a brief delay on the inevitable.

     "Where's Botan, ogre?  And why hasn't she reported in to me yet?" Koenma seemed quite eager to yell at the two reckless demons.

     "She should have been back by now, sir, do you want me to find her?"  After receiving quite an impatient yell from his boss, George quickly ran out of the office in search of the ferry girl and the delinquent demons.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drums.  

     A hammer, perhaps.  

     It was like a thunder-shock was running through his brain with every pound.  Whatever was making that repulsive noise would have to pay for it.  Dearly.  

     Hiei opened his eyes, preparing to kill whatever vile creature chose to injure his head in such a manner.  But instead of seeing a beast to fight, he saw pink… lots… of pink…  He immediately felt repulsed.  Where in the hells did he end up last night?  He let his eyes clear, and was startled at the scene before him.  The ferry girl and the fox were cuddled up on a bed nearby.  He began to wonder with desperation what had transpired the night before.  At least what had happened before they arrived at what he could only guess was Botan's bedroom.  He had no desire to know what went on after they had gotten there.

     The horrible pounding rang through his fragile head again, and he could now recognize that it was someone knocking on the door—someone who didn't have long to live.  He drew his katana.

     As he was heading towards the door, however, Botan finally stirred on the bed, blinking and sitting up in response to the knock.  "Mmm… who is it?" she yawned out sleepily.  With another blink, her sleep-sanded eyes focused on Hiei… brandishing his sword and looking quite angry,  "…Hiei… What are you doing?" she asked, trying to remain calm, but sounding nervous despite her effort.

     Hiei paused long enough to look at her, glare at her, and she quickly stood up.  "Whoever is pounding on the door is going to die," he said in his scarily calm, threatening tone of voice.  That particular tone almost always scared the wits out of Botan… and that moment was certainly no exception.  He started for the door again, and she quickly intercepted him, opening the door in front of him to protect whatever poor person was on the other side.

     George stood in the hallway, still apprehensively wringing his hands, eyes darting about.  Those fearful eyes settled on the fire demon's blade, and widened to the size of saucer plates.  "Uhh…" he stammered, having lost his delicate train of thought with the impending threat.

     Botan sighed.  She knew why the oni was there; Koenma had summoned Kurama and Hiei to his office.  She cringed inwardly at how horribly she knew it would go.  Since the oni hadn't moved a muscle nor yet spoken a proper word, she decided to relieve him of his official burden.  "Koenma has asked for Kurama and Hiei, right?"  At the mention of his name, the diminutive apparition growled and pointed his sword menacingly at the oni outside the door.  

     Trying to avoid looking directly at Hiei, George managed, "Well… y-yes… he asked for you, but wanted to find them as well."  He acted as if it was his hide sacrificed if Koenma's orders weren't fulfilled.  In actual fact, due to spanking punishments, it was.  When Botan nodded, his shoulders sagged slightly in relief, and he rushed off to inform his master.

     Before Hiei could think of following him, Botan slammed the door shut.  "For goodness' sake, Hiei," she scolded sternly, "put that thing away!"

     "Hn," was the only reply the small demon deigned to offer, glaring at her, but seeing no point in keeping the katana ready now.  Sheathing the sword, he glanced at his unconscious friend.  "What happened last night, onna?" he demanded.

     Walking over to the bedside with a sigh, Botan answered, "Nothing more than the two of you acting like children."  She shook Kurama's shoulder gently, trying to wake him.  "Kurama? A-are you awake?"

     The only real response she received was a sleepy groan as the kitsune turned onto his back and squinted his eyes closed tighter against the brighter light of day.  

     Hiei scoffed and gave his trademark hn.  "Get up, fox.  The mighty Koenma has asked to see us," he sneered, the word "mighty" said as sarcastically as Hiei probably ever said a word in his life.

     Kurama groaned once more, then forced himself to sit up, rubbing his temples.  It took him a bleary moment or two to realize that his arms, back, chest and stomach were, in fact, exposed to the room.  His face took on a startled expression, and he looked around, trying to spot where his shirt possibly could have been.  Not finding it, he looked back at Botan with a bit of an embarrassed flush to his cheeks.  "I'm sorry, Botan… What happened to my shirt?"  His question confirmed Hiei's concern that he wasn't the only one who had no memory of the previous night's events.

     Botan sighed and Kurama stood, if only to be out of her bed.  "It's a very long story, boys, and I'm afraid it'd be better, actually, when you face Lord Koenma, if you DON'T remember what went on."

     They nodded, and Kurama looked to Hiei, though the sight stopped any comment he had in mind,  "Hiei…" he began, amused, "I've lost a shirt, but you've lost more than that…" he covered his mouth with his hand to hide his chuckle, though it didn't do much good as Botan giggled a little nervously.

     "What do you mean, baka fox…" he looked down, and saw that he was clad only in his black boxers.  His eyes widened in surprise.  "….How…"

     Botan pressed the tips of her index fingers together, trying to look innocent.  "It happened on the ride to Spirit World… they fell odd…" she stopped when Hiei's eyes narrowed.  "Well, they were tied to the oar, because you kept falling off of it, but you… fell out of them, really, and by the time I got you, they were gone."

     "Hn."

     "Hiei, do try to be a bit more understanding; we _were_ drunk… I think…"

     The ferry girl nodded.  "Yes, you were.  Very.  Now Koenma is expecting you two, and I really think we ought not to make him wait long!"  With that said, she started herding them both towards the door, shirt or no shirt, pants or not pants.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Upon reaching the doors to Koenma's office, Botan beckoned the boys to wait outside, and poked her head inside to check on the toddler's mood.  When her boss screamed, "GET IN HERE!" at the sight of her bouncing blue hair, Botan jumped and quickly opened the door, allowing Hiei and Kurama inside, and then followed them.

     Koenma sat at his desk, arms still crossed, eyes closed against a headache, not having touched his current cup of tea.  When the two demons approached him, he opened his eyes to look at them.  This, of course, immediately resulted in a cry of surprise that both were shirtless, and Hiei pant-less.  "What in the world did the two of you DO?!"  Botan started to answer for them, and the demi-god promptly silenced her.

     After a few moments of pained silence, Kurama finally found his voice, though his eyes never left their focus on the floor.  "To be honest, Koenma, I do not have any memory of most of the night's events," he admitted.

     Hiei was not so penitently studying the cloud colored floor tiles, though he was not looking Koenma in the eyes, either.  He seemed to have taken a liking to silently glaring at the air in front of his face.

     Koenma floated up to stand on the desktop, whether for a more imposing appearance or simply to view the others closer to eye level was unclear.  "You don't remember?" he questioned, volume and tone of voice gaining a near shrill quality with the last word.  His face was again red with anger, and even in so short a form, many would have been intimidated by his presence at that moment.

     "No, Koenma.  Not a thing," though his voice did not quaver, Kurama was clearly a bit nervous about the entire situation.

     "I expected more from you, Kurama, than a drunken binge party…. At some human bar!" Koenma admonished, too upset to find his words fluidly.  He sat down on the desk to hold his head once more; taking on the plaintive voice he favored so often when he got himself into trouble.  "I have to fix this before my dad finds out… I can't let two demons run free, and apparently I can't trust them at all to have any sense about them…" he continued muttering to himself, each half insult eliciting a growl from Hiei.

     Ever calm even through his anxiety, Kurama spoke up softly, "What do you intend to do with us, Koenma?"  He finally met the ruler's eyes with his own, unable to inject the same placidity into their depths.

     There was a length of awkward silence before Koenma addressed the fox's question.  "Well," he began, gradually gaining self-assurance as he spoke, "If you two would keep a steady attitude I still think jobs are necessary.  But since you've botched every chance I've given you so far, I'm not going to let you choose your own method of employment this time around.  In fact," he took on a haughtier, knowing tone, "Your new jobs will serve as half-punishment for your untrustworthy behavior."

     Both demons focused on Koenma then, more than a little nervous over the prospect of Koenma picking their jobs.  "Hn," Hiei sneered, "So what are they."

     "Yours, Hiei, will be," he thought for a moment, "tending to the elderly at a nearby nursing home."  Hiei's eyes widened in disbelief and shock, but before he could say a word in protest, Koenma cut him off.  "Kurama, yours will be working with a lumber company just outside of town.  I don't want to hear another word out of the two of you and you'll both start at the beginning of the week."  He motioned Botan to take the two shocked demons out of the office as he sat back down on his cushioned chair.  The toddler watched them leave with a sigh.  "I can't take much more of this, ogre… They better not mess up this time."

     Poor naïve Koenma sat in his chair and tried to shut out the pressures of the living world and take a peaceful nap.

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

**A/N:**  Sorry this took me so long, but it hurt to type this up even with the cast off and pain medication @__@.  Owwwwieee!!!  __' Hope you forgive me for the delay, and that this satisfies everyone for the moment.   The next chapter is over half finished, though none of it is typed, and we're approaching finals week… ICK!!

     Ok, thanks for reading!!!  As it hurts to type and I'm drowsy from the meds, I'll just say THANK YOU to all of my reviewers, and respond individually next time.

-Draith


	11. Nightmare: Part I

**A/N:** This was supposed to be one big chapter… but it was brought to my attention (PIERCE) that my chapters (for this or other fics, especially Enough is Enough - look, shameless advertisement!!) are getting hugely long to read in one sitting… So I've decided to start breaking them up at a good stopping point. Here's the first half of the next edition of Fast Food Fiasco… thanks for the reviews, and patience!!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, or any of its characters. The wonderful Yoshihiro Togashi does. Also, the Golden Age Manor (don't own that, either) does exist, though it is not a nursing home; and though some names may bear resemblance to persons associated with this place, it is not being suggested that the manor itself is like this place in the story, nor that any of the people from the real place are the same as these characters. Basically, IT'S NOT REAL, and so no one's meant to be represented in the fiction. Got it? Good…

Another thing… I'm really not some radical natural activist… nor a tree-hugger as some put it. But I do believe that de-forestation is getting to an insane point, and we're killing the planet that we need to live off of. So anyone who is offended by that point of view may say whatever they want about parts of this and the next chapter, but my view is exaggerated to be humorous. Go with it.

**Nightmare: Part I**

**Scene 1**

It was quiet that day at the Golden Age Manor. Even the crabbiest of residents seemed subdued. Of course, this could have been due to the fact that one of the more stern orderlies was leaving the job at the manor. Everyone was being extra silent, perhaps for fear of retribution from the employee, or perhaps so that any new replacement would think them peaceful enough to stay around longer than the last new one.

They'd had many new helpers in the last few months, each replacing the other when they left. Each was excited at the beginning. Each tried to do their best to be happy and serve the folk with a smile.

Each got eaten alive.

Everyone had left, probably to new careers, perhaps a mental institution or two. Though not as staff, no, sir. The elderly inhabitants of the Golden Age Manor Nursing Home drove every new employee to ruin or madness. Now they awaited the arrival of the new orderly they'd been promised. They awaited their new prey.

**Scene 2: Urameshi Residence**

Yuusuke had been pressing the "down channel" button on the T.V. remote for about 2 solid minutes. Channels and programs flicked by on a regimented one second interval, just enough time to catch one syllable of sound from each one before clicking over to the next. Every channel had already been shown. Twice. He was just staring at the colorful flicker like a zombie into the night. In fact, the only part of him that was actually in motion was his thumb.

Going on the third minute, Kuwabara, who had been sitting on the other end of the couch, couldn't take it any more, and grabbed the remote from Yuusuke's hand. Or, tried to grab it. Yuusuke held it firmly, still flicking, not taking his eyes from the screen. "Dammit, Urameshi, just pick a channel and stick with it, ok? It's what normal people do!"

Without even moving, Yuusuke spoke in a monotone voice, "Cut it out, Kuwabara, I'm watching something…" He didn't bother trying to get his friend's hands off of the remote, and simply continued flicking.

" 'Watching something??' Urameshi! You can't watch channels that go by in a second, so slow down and pick one already, I think I'm getting a headache…" Kuwabara tried again to pull the remote away, which only merited him a bump on the head as Yuusuke turned at last to hit him. "Ow!"

"Will you knock it off, you big doofus? I told you, I'm watching…" he stopped, turned to the screen that had stopped flicking, and stared at what he'd inadvertently chosen. "…Something…"

Kuwabara turned as well with a classic look of perplexed-blankness to see what had raptured his friend so. Surprisingly, it was a news station covering recent local stories. The newscaster had begun speaking already, and Yuusuke thumbed the volume button so that they could hear the report. On screen was a bar downtown. Kuwabara could only guess worry for his mom was what had made Yuusuke stop at the channel. Atsuko was a frequent bar-hopper, and was always drunk or hung-over.

As the volume grew, the reporter could be heard speaking of a riot that had occurred the night before, and how destroyed the inside of the bar was from a hundred drunk and wild women raving over some new bartenders.

"Wow, guess that was the place to be last night…" Yuusuke began in a flat tone. He then smirked and chuckled, "Maybe I should work at a bar… Sure would be a way to see girls all day long!"

Kuwabara growled, and hit Yuusuke on the top of his head. "You idiot! Don't you ever think of Keiko?" Yuusuke blinked at him, and Kuwabara just crossed his arms and turned his nose away, speaking in a superior tone. "Girls are supposed to be honored, Urameshi, not cheated on. You shouldn't even look at girls like that for Keiko's sake."

Yuusuke took on his naturally defensive tone, responding, "Yeah, well, it's for her sake I look, you know?" Then, sounding conniving, "Yeah… so I know what I'm missing or something, and appreciate her more…"

"You big liar!"

Kuwabara hit him over the head again, and this time Yuusuke responded with a punch instead of words. They got so involved with their petty quarrel, they completely missed the rest of the report, which showed just who had been at the bar gaining to much favor and female attention…

**Scene 3: Town**

Hiei had been at Kurama's house that morning, perhaps for encouragement, or maybe so the fox could squelch his hidden nerves… Whatever the reason had been, he hadn't stayed long enough for Kurama to find out. They'd had a brief sharing of complaints, and then parted ways on their separate journeys to the occupations that Koenma had assigned them. Kurama had taken the longest route he could devise to arrive outside of town at the site. He was not looking forward to a job that would keep him a part of killing trees for overpopulation's needs. He couldn't stand that plants had to die for human advancement. Yes, flora always paid for the life and existence of fauna.

Despite his best efforts of procrastination and delay, Kurama eventually arrived outside the gate of the "Wood Chuck" Lumber Company. He could hear the splitting machines, the shrill tone of those horrible biting saws, could see the spray of sawdust as if blood itself were being spilled in the forest that day. Life… Life wasted and thrown on a conveyer belt to be split apart for the so-called needs of man. Death.

Breathing hard, Kurama whirled around, back pressed against the iron gate, hands covering his face and the horror displayed on it. _How can they do this so carelessly,_ he thought. There was no way he could aide in this destruction. Koenma or no Koenma, he would not work here. He could not live with himself if he was responsible for so much death.

What, then, was he going to do?

**Scene 4: Secluded Part of Town**

Leaping silently to the ground from the last tree in the row along the long driveway, Hiei stood up straight and took in his surroundings. The yard was perfectly manicured, with trees and bushes forming disturbingly perfect shapes, such as baskets, rabbits, and things that Hiei could not nor had any interest in trying to identify. Several ponds littered the grounds. None were big enough to make any sense, seeming to hold small fish, though there was no sign of anyone attempting to catch them.

The perfect scene surrounded both sides of him, the drive at his back. As he turned his head to the front, he found his eyes widening despite his best apathetic efforts. In front of him stood a large house, almost the size of a small castle. It stood five stories high, at least it seemed so from what Kurama had told him of human architecture. Besides the front and central section, which alone looked impressively large, there were two wings off to each side, and possible more around the back. There were more windows than the fire demon care to count, each one detailed and old looking. He guessed the building must have been around for a long time.

Shrugging off anything bit his contempt for humanity in general, he stalked to the front door and knocked. After several moments, a young girl opened the door. Not so young, perhaps, probably a few years older than Kurama's human self, but not an adult yet. She looked at him curiously for a moment, and he had to force himself not to sneer at her.

"Can I help you?" she asked with a sugary sweet overtone to her voice, but holding contempt and annoyance underneath. She smiled a thin, fake smile at Hiei, tapping her foot impatiently as she awaited his almost immediate reply.

Keeping his face impassive, Hiei responded, "Hn, I'm supposed to be here." Choking down a growl at the words, he finished, "For a job." He stuck his hands in his pockets, every aspect of his body language screaming that he didn't want to be within ten miles of where he stood.

The girl took on a knowing expression, which the small demon loathed, and gestures for him to come inside. Stepping aside to allow his passage, she closed the door behind him. The room just inside the doorway was more impressive than the outside of the building had even suggested. The ceiling was high, vaulted, he believed the word was that humans used. To either side of the door stood graciously spacious rooms, each leading further into the manor. Straight ahead, though down a bit of an entry hall, was a sweeping staircase leading to a balcony on the second floor. How one would access the third, fourth, and fifth floors he couldn't immediately tell. The girl led him up the staircase and down the central hall on the second floor. There were so many rooms Hiei didn't even bother to try to count them all. Most of the doors were open, TVs on inside the rooms, many docile-appearing people laying in bed or sitting in plush chairs.

"Where are we going?" Hiei asked flatly, looking from side to side into each room they passed. It appeared that this would be the most boring job imaginable, with everyone in the building so relaxed and sedated.

Not stopping or even pausing her calm stride, the girl curtly replied, "To the office, naturally." With a slight glance back in his direction, she added, "You must be dealt with accordingly."

Hiei scowled as she turned back to face the long, empty hall. He did not like being referred to as a thing to be "dealt with." Perhaps he should show her exactly how much she could "deal" with him…

His thoughts were abruptly interrupted, however, as the girl led him to a room on the side of the hall, situated before a turn in the building to accommodate the next wing. Inside, he was greeted with another calm interior, though without the sense of sedated medication. There was a row of windows along the far wall that faced the long driveway leading away from hell. Another door led towards the way they had come; he suspected it to be a more important office. Chairs were set in front of a desk that stood beside the door leading away, and several more chairs as well as a couch stood along the other walls, littered between various filing cabinets.

Looking up from the desk, a middle-aged austere looking woman peered at Hiei over a pair of plain bifocals. She set aside the paperwork she had been studying, and folded her slender fingers, resting them on the desktop. "What do you bring me, Charice? A new employee?" she asked, her tone straight but nearly playful, and her gaze drifting to Hiei.

"Once again, you're right, Mrs. Helda. He's here for the orderly position that Jon's left open." Charice said no more after receiving a withering glare from Mrs. Helda. Whatever had happened with Jon, it apparently was not meant to be discussed. Charice stepped back as Mrs. Helda focused her attentions on Hiei once again.

"What is your name, son?" she asked, talking down to him as if to a child. Her amused expression told that the inflection was quite intentional.

Barely controlling his boiling temper at the insult, Hiei spoke his name evenly. Mrs. Helda nodded, writing it down on some piece of paperwork or another, then stood, leading him into the next room. Charice followed, seeming both excited and malevolent. Something didn't smell right about this place.

**Scene 5: Outside Town**

"Hey, you there! You Minamino?"

Kurama had just decided to give up and get away from the horrible place of murder when the yell stopped him short of escape. With an inward cringe, he stopped his retreat and turned around to face the foreman who had caught him. Managing to plaster on a rather convincing fake smile, he responded, "Yes, I'm Shuichi Minamino." He paused, the added with effort, "I'm here for the job opening."

The man nodded and immediately opened the gate to allow Kurama inside. "Perfect," he said. "We've been waiting for you all morning." As he led the boy along the grounds, he explained, in gruesome detail, the type of work they would be doing that day and further on during the week. Kurama started to feel sick to his stomach with all of the destruction the man described. He couldn't believe Koenma had relegated him to this.

The foreman introduced himself as Jim, and said Kurama was welcome to call him by his first name, since everyone else did. His arrival merited a tortuous tour around the entire site. From one dastardly machine to the next, the fox had to bite his tongue to keep silent. But he who is silent is understood to consent, and the day went on without a flinch. He soon discovered the piece of information Koenma had left out of his tirade. His position was out in the fieldwork; he would be among those personally destroying life. Kurama desperately wanted to run, but the human personality that he had built up would not allow him to leave the job so soon, and he had no idea what Spirit World would resort to next, were he to escape.

So he donned the coveralls. He wore the tool belt, the boots, the helmet and safety glasses. He marched outside with the others starting their shifts. He marched out to participate in the crime he'd been assigned to commit.

**A/N:** Yeah… I know, "that's it?!" But like I said, I was told to make them shorter, and my hand isn't healed, and still freaking hurts, so that's about all I feel like typing out right now. Like it or leave it, send me a review? Thanks.

-Draith


	12. Nightmare: Part II

**A/N:** Wow… uhm… been a while.

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own YYH, Yoshihiro Togashi does. The "Golden Age Manor" and its residents in this story again are not meant to relate in any way, shape, or form to the building and people (who live IN the manor) that exist in real life. And I am still not a "tree-hugger"… It's Kurama's views.

**Scene 1: The Lumbar Yard**

The work was simple, aided much by modern technology, but it was far from easy for Kurama to bring himself to DO it. Most of his coworkers were actually pleasant, though few seemed to be worthy of a decent conversation of any depth and length. He performed the duty that was required of him, but resentment was building inside along with the anger at the actions.

A couple of times he tried to discuss ecological matters with those stationed near him, but no one was inclined to listen to such talk while working toward the opposite end. After what seemed to be a small eternity, and barely audible above the machines, a bell rang into the woods from the direction of the main facility building. Everyone stopped their work, and Kurama learned that the bell signaled break tie for those performing the harder labor. He followed his fellow employees inside to a massive dining hall, where tables and chairs were set up in long rows leading away from the doors. Lining the wall to his left as he entered were trays and a buffet type set up of food.

Each of them in turn took a tray and gathered some of the meat, potatoes and the like that was offered. This wasn't normal, as most of the time the workers brought their own lunches and meals, but the company was having an appreciation week for all the "good effort" its employees were making. Everyone certainly enjoyed it, and happily sat down to eat. At first, no one sat near Kurama, most having small groups that they seemed to hang with. A few more sociable men did come and sit at his table eventually, and were semi-competent in conversational skills. Being the sly fox that he was, the youko carefully wove the conversation and discussion to find out the views of the others on what they were doing. It turned out that many had problems with such advances over nature, but were too attached to their jobs to make any fuss over it.

Finding the edge he needed, Kurama began precisely seeding thoughts of revolution into the minds of his coworkers.

**Scene 2: The Golden Age Manor**

He had let them tell him what to wear. That was mistake number two. Mistake number one had been letting Koenma tell him what to do in the first place. He may be short, but the toddler was less then half his size, surely. Deity or not, Hiei was convinced he could kick his revered little diapered ass. If he did it quickly enough, which he obviously could, there would be no way to stop him. The only problem was what Spirit World would dare do to him afterwards; and he knew that could only be bad.

Killing Koenma was out of the question; but with him alive, Hiei was stuck making beds, checking monitors, filing papers, changing… bedpans. He scowled in disgust. He had been forced to wear white. Hiei HATED white. The pants and long jacket were far too tall for him. The nametag, however, seemed to irk him even more. He'd been forced to wear one for McDonald's, and though this one at least didn't say "Bubbles," he loathed the association it brought. He'd been able to burn down that hateful place with little trouble, despite the fox and ferry girl's admonitions. If only he could rid himself of this place so easily…

Hiei entered the tenth room on his list for the hour. He had heard an odd set of beeps before every room, and had never been able to see what infernal machine was producing them. The person inside this room was awake, but zoned so completely in front of a television set that he might as well have been unconscious. The fire demon refilled the water, taking the dirty cup and placing it on the cart he was forced to push around the halls and rooms. After a couple of moments the man turned his head calmly towards Hiei. The demon blinked at him, not willing to offer even a meager greeting.

"You new?" the question was curious and sudden, but the man's face seemed pleasant enough. He actually smiled at Hiei.

"Yes," Hiei replied, a_nd if it were up to me I'd push you right out the window,_ he continued in his head. Not allowing for further conversation, he quickly turned the cart out of the room and left, hearing the beep once more. He turned around to look back inside the room, but the man was once again position as he had been when Hiei first entered, eyes locked on the TV screen. Hiei scowled and returned the cart to the kitchen room it had come from, having finished the wing for now.

The rest of the rooms on his list were those of healthier, self-sustaining residents. At least he was able to rid himself of the frustrating cart; the wheels had stuck more times than he could remember to count. All he had to do for these people was go through an idiotic checklist of idiotic questions, and make sure that everyone was "doing alright," as Mrs. Helda had put it. That, at least, only required him to carry around a clipboard and pen. With a scowl, he made his way down to the next floor. He had found out from Charice that he could kill up to 7 or 8 birds with one stone by going to the common sitting room to check on several residents at once. Hiei wished that "kill" them was not just a foolish human saying. Why say anything if you don't mean it…

Entering the common room, he lucked out to see 10 different people lazing about inside. He walked over to the first one he spotted, an elderly lady with white hair, who was about as tall as he was. She seemed to hide something as he approached, but he couldn't tell what. She looked up at him with pale, blue eyes.

"Well hello, young man," she began in a wavering voice, "What can I do for you?" She smiled a half-toothless smile as she shifted in her seat a bit to see him better.

Hiei sat down and began his checklist, marking each result on a sheet as he'd been directed. Halfway through, however, he heard whispering from the room somewhere behind him. He turned his head to see who it was, but the room was quiet once again, and no one appeared to have moved even an inch since he last saw them. Eyes narrowed, he turned back to finish the list with June, as he'd learned her name was. As he was finishing, he felt a brush of wind against his hair and neck, and quickly twisted to look. However, even with his demon speed, the room was unchanged; three were still watching television, two were playing chess and two cards, and the other two were just sitting on a couch, staring into space. Neither had anyone else been added to the room. Hiei's eyes narrowed further in suspicion. Something had been nagging at his senses all day, and the beeping was the least of it. There was something going on in this manor, but he had no clue what it was.

He stood up, preparing to move on to the next person, and felt the draft again, this time spotting a slight blur of motion out of the corner of his eye. Hiei whirled around, but again, the room and its inhabitants had not changed. Or had they… He carefully inspected the room, checking it against his photographic memory. It was then that he noticed it. No, the number of people in the room had not changed, and no, their position and what they were occupying themselves with had no either… The PEOPLE had changed. He remembered vividly the person in the middle watching TV had been a woman wearing a dark red sweater, blue pants, and had a cane resting beside her.

The person sitting there now was a bald-headed man with a checkered shirt and striped pants. The woman was nowhere to be seen.

What in the hells was going on?

**Scene 3: Back at the Lumber Yard**

Like well-cared-for plants, the thoughts Kurama had chosen to insert—through careful conversation—into the minds of the other lumberjacks had grown beautifully. Kurama was quite proud of his work, knowing how much he could affect people even without Hiei's use of the telepathic manipulation. The beauty of this effort was that the thoughts and proceeding actions were of the others' own making, causing them to be stronger and backed up by the people's emotions as well.

It turned out that below the rough and tough exterior of many of the men working the job laid a core of softer feelings, and a disdain for their own employment. They make good money, but tore down more trees and destroyed more homes for woodland animals than they had expected or wanted. Some had secretly taken squirrels and chipmunks home with them when they destroyed their homes. One had a garage full of birds he'd saved in the forest. Another had a family of deer. But what pleased Kurama most was the few who had mentioned unusual plants they had found and saved from devastation. Yes, it was easy to lead them to think about the wrong they were doing; but now what would they DO about it?

Like a breath of fresh chlorophyll, a voice from the end of the table boomed, "We should protest!"

Kurama didn't have to say or do anything after the suggestion, it seemed to spread like wildfire as many of the workers around him avidly seconded and furthered it. Each one added his loud voice to the cry, sending their more detailed thoughts along with it. By the time the commotion reached the end of the room close to the boss' office, plans were made, laid, and set far too strongly to be broken now. A good 60 of the workers were riled up about protesting, and some actually stood on the long tables to have their ideas heard more clearly and strongly. Others had long traded their trays of food for sheets of plastic on metal rods, creating their own picket signs, avoiding using any wood at all.

All the while, Kurama sat and watched, not having to say a word or issue an order, or spark any new ideas as the men had taken over responsibly for the revolt, and were going strong on their own. He folded his arms, allowing himself a smug smile. This would show Koenma… Kurama was not a puppet to be dictated. If he did not want to do something, then he wouldn't do it! He had to stick up for himself for once in this pathetic human life.

After hardly any time at all, he could hear vehicles approaching through his sensitive Youko ears. Curious, he left his reclusive spot in the back of the room and walked outside to see who could be arriving. With a smile, he was greeted with the sight of several news channel vans, and camera crews hopping out of the sliding doors, all ready to start recording the events going on as the employees headed out of the building, holding their signs high and chanting against the evils of deforestation.

_ Good little puppets_, he thought.

**Scene 4: Golden Age Manor**

It had been going on too long, and Hiei had had enough. He relaxed himself, allowing his senses to take over. Whatever trick these people were pulling, he'd be able to see through it. Aiding his more ordinary senses was, of course, the Jagan. It opened now behind his bandana, the cloth barely hiding the luminous purple glow. As he watched, there was another blur of movement to his left, only this time, it slowed as he trained his eye upon it. In shock, he watched as elderly and supposedly infirm women sped into the room, exchanging seats with a similarly aged man, who in turn left by the same manner by which she had appeared. Hiei's eyes widened at the impossibility of the sight. How could such an old human possibly do such a thing? Though no rival to his own, the speed of the two and any who had done so before them was faster than he'd seen on any human save maybe Yuusuke.

Something was wrong. Old humans with that much spirit ability? No… they wouldn't be in a nursing home if they were truly that strong. They'd live alone and grow into hags like Genkai. His eyes then narrowed in thought. _So what is different about these humans_… He walked towards the woman who had entered, no longer worrying over his expression. He wanted the truth.

She looked up as he stepped in the way of her view of the TV across the room. Blinking up at him from the couch, she smiled an old-lady smile and patted the seat next to her. "Hello, young man. Have a seat near me?" Her voice sounded sweet and unassuming, but there was a quality to it that didn't fit someone of her age. It almost sounded as if she was _trying_ to sound old.

Suspicion growing, Hiei sat down on the cushion next to the white-haired woman, turning towards her. Keeping his voice low, conspiratorial yet demanding as usual, he asked, "I saw you… how did you possibly do that?"

At first, the woman blinked back at him innocently, then smiled when he gave no indication of letting it go. "How did I do what, dear?" Her voice was sweet and indulgent, but he could detect her suspicion of him.

"How did you move that fast… switching places with that old man?"

It was then he heard the beep once again. In his heightened state of awareness, he recognized it as coming from the woman's bag. Quick as a flash, he had riffled through the offending purse, producing what looked like, as the fox had called them, a "walkie-talkie" machine. He had considered the name silly then, and no less now as he studied the contraption. As he held it, a voice came from it, mentioning something about the common room, and the new orderly who had come in being there…

Before he could hear any more, the woman snatched the talkie…thing back from him. "Now, young man," she began, the sweet tone absent from her steady voice as she gave him a reprimanding glare, "it's not polite to take things that don't belong to you…" She put the machine back in her bag and regarded him suspiciously. "So, you are more perceptive than we gave you credit for…"

Hiei's eyebrows rose slightly. "We?"

The old woman, not looking quite so old anymore, smiled. "Yes, we…" her voice got softer, "We are not ordinary people." When Hiei showed no reaction, she continued, "A small portion of the residence in this building did not lead regular lives… we were ninjas."

"Shinobi?" Hiei looked surprised. He would not have thought old Shinobi would end up in a home for human derelicts. He suddenly found his employment that much more distasteful. He hated Shinobi.

The woman nodded, and suddenly several of the other people he had seen around throughout the day appeared in the room, gathering around Hiei in a tight circle. Hiei stood, tensed and ready for whatever these out of work ninjas were up to. It was clear that they hadn't lost their abilities.

One of the men stepped forward, voice shaking with age, saying, "We don't like new orderlies here, young one… And you have a bad attitude. You should leave." His last statement was met with agreement by every one of the circle surrounding the fire demon, and they started to close in.

Seeing no better way out, considering their speed, and simply ticked off enough to want a fight, Hiei threw a kick at one of the Shinobi men, knocking him over and into a woman. Suddenly, all of the zoned-out normal elderly people turned their way and exclaimed in shock. "He's beating them up!" Slow as they were, they still rushed over and joined in the melee, beating Hiei with canes, walkers, ramming him with wheelchairs, choking him with IV lines, and using any medical attachment available to attack the offending orderly.

Hiei found himself at the bottom of a stockpile of people bent on maiming him. He growled, pushing his way out and using his Jagan to freeze them in place temporarily, then used his super speed to phase out of the room and out of the building, continuing into the trees down the long driveway.

This was a nightmare.

**Scene 5: Lumber Protest**

It had been an incredible sight. All of his work paying off, gentle guiding producing perfect results. Kurama was immensely pleased with himself. He was such an intelligent being, orchestrating all of this, changing the focus of each and every employee he talked to. It was going according to plan, to the very last letter on the picket signs. Perfectly.

Perfectly, that is, until sirens were heard approaching. The police had been called to break up the riot. Now each of those who revolted were being placed into handcuffs and stuffed into large police vans that held many of them at once. Reports were being taken from the bosses and some of the workers about everything that had happened. They were all pinpointing Kurama as the instigator. The squirrels, of course, would have reported otherwise, but their reports were not recorded, and would have been considered biased.

After only a short while, in which he was kept under constant surveillance, unable to escape, the officers made their way over to Kurama. "You the cause of all this trouble, kid?" the big one asked, a pen and pad of paper in his hands.

"Apparently," Kurama answered. "Haven't you ever felt sorry for small animals being stripped of their homes so you could build yours? How would you feel if some large creature took all of your houses to make a large building for himself? If someone killed you, and used you as building material? Cut you down to burn as fuel? Cleared out you entire community so that he could build his? Do you find that fair? I don't think it is." After he finished, all of the rioters who were in earshot applauded and cheered him on.

The officers looked at each other, then the big one put away his paper, tucked his pen in his pocket, and sighed. "I've changed my mind," he said. "I'm not going to arrest you."

Kurama hid a smirk. _Right into my hands_… "Oh?" he asked calmly.

"No," the officer said. "I'm having you committed." The rest of the officers laughed, harder even at Kurama's utterly shocked expression. "Bag him, boys!" came the order, which earned Kurama a straight jacket as he was herded into a van all his own, and sent off to an asylum.

**A/N:** I am so sorry that this took me about a year to get another chapter up. The summer was insane, then the fall semester I was sick with tonsillitis about 5 times and finally had them taken out during the break. Then I sliced into my finger by accident, which it just now healed (this was the before the spring semester started). And these classes have been busier than usual. I hope to write more and finish this over the next couple of months, since there are only at more 3 chapters left! If you are still with me, thanks so much for still reading! Draith


End file.
